Stardew Valley Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PC

MINOR SPOILERS IN THE SCREENSHOTS


Co-op beta has begun, and you know we’re playing it. I thought long and hard (not really) about how to get as drunk as Shane playing Stardew Valley together or solo. The stories in this game are so well written and engaging, it seems shameful to potentially forget them in an inebriated state… but that’s what we’re here to do. At least some of our neighbors would probably approve (I’m looking at you, Pam and Shane.)

Have a cold one with Shane

Me every night after work.

The Rules

Drink 1:

At the start of each sunny day

When you sell items to a shop (1 per item stack)

When you harvest, collect, fish or forage a purple star quality item

When you mine any of the following: Iridium (1 per drop), Diamond, any Geode

When you acquire a new friendship heart with someone

When you find something other than trash in a trash can

When you buy a ticket to go to The Desert

When you give someone a gift on their birthday

When you donate an item to the museum

When a neighbor sends you an item or recipe in the mail

When you complete a daily quest

Multiple Drinks:

2 drinks – At the start of each rainy day

3 drinks – When you enter a cutscene

3 drinks – When you complete a long-term quest

1 drink per $1000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day up to $9,000
1 shot per $10,000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day

3 drinks – When you drink an alcoholic beverage in game (drinks in cutscenes included)

3 drinks – When a train passes through Stardew Valley

3 drinks – When you give someone a gift they hate

5 drinks or a shot – When you attend a seasonal/holiday event

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet

When you give a mermaid pendant

When “an explosion is heard during the night”

When you pass out from exhaustion (whether from low energy or from being awake too late)

When you access a new area of the game for the first time

When someone catches you looking in a trash can

I just want everyone to have a good time

Me too, Emily, but my idea was to get everybody hammered.

 

Additional Rules for Co-op:

Drink 1:

When you walk through each other

When you both/all work on the same tile (mining, farming, fishing, etc)

When you gain a new heart with a player character

Drink 3:

When you get pulled into someone else’s cutscene from afar

When you sleep in the same bed

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet to a player character, or when you receive one

Take 2 Shots:

When you marry another player character. Cheers, losers.

Be more social

 

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Fortnite Drinking Game

Players: 1-99

PS4, Xbox One, iOS, PC 


In honor of our return to the business of pretending-to-have-a-productive-reason-for-drinking, we’re throwing a couple of big title games your way. There’s nothing much bigger than Fortnite right now, which I do quite enjoy, but I’m surprised it’s still going. And the other big title for the month is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, so make sure to check that out!

Fortnite Battle Royale Glider Girl

Me gliding away from all of my problems to my living room couch to play more Fortnite.

To clarify, we’re only doing a game for the Battle Royale mode. I’m sure that doesn’t really surprise anyone, but I wanted to clarify. I’ve never paid money for the actual game… or know anyone that has. Anyway, to the goods!

I have a special Death Game to provide the basis for the drinking involved, and then I also have standard rules set up for specific events.


The Death Game

The rules for this are simple:

  • For every 5 people remaining when you die, you drink 1.
    • This is a potential 20 drink hit if you die immediately.

There’s a catch, though.

  • Once you are under 50 remaining players, this number actually now applies to your friends watching or playing alongside you, but in the opposite direction.

So, if you survive to the 30th spot, your friends drink the equivalent of placement 70, which is 14 drinks, thus your incentive for survival is extra high in this game. All other players required to take a shot if you win (does not apply to fellow teammates that survived the round).

I know you guys are thrilled to try it out.

Fornite unicorn harvest tool rainbow

It truly is a strange, magical place.

The Basics

  • Jumping from the Plane – Social
  • Ammo Box – 2
  • Chest – 3
  • Gnome – 5
  • Orange/Legendary Weapon Found – 10
  • Llama – 15
  • Kill Someone – Everyone Else Drinks 5
  • Finish a Season Goal – Amount of Stars You Earn
  • Someone Dances on you after you Die – *Extra Death Shot*

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Drinking Game

Players: 1

Nintendo Switch


The following presentation was brought to you by a 13-hour transpacific flight with complimentary alcohol.

So, you’ve got hours to kill in the presence of booze and you’re on your own. Lucky for you, the Switch is as portable as you are, and this game is as potable as the finest liquor you’ve got handy. A vodka cranberry makes for a nice red health potion to keep you going, or you can choose to have breath of the Wild Turkey. Whatever drink you choose, just try not to drop your game on the floor of the plane during turbulence.

We’re going to start you off strong at the beginning of the game by having you drink every time your name (Link, not your actual name) is said in-game. That’s pretty frequent at the start and then trails off into a couple mentions every great while during a cutscene. With that head start and the rest of the rules, you’re sure to pass the time quickly (or just pass out quickly) on whatever voyage, night in, or bender you happen to be on.


The Rules

Someone says Link’s name – 1

Lose a full heart – 1

Run out of stamina – 1

Break a weapon – 1

Fast travel – 1

Gain a Spirit Orb – 1

Complete a side quest – 1

Complete a main quest – 3

Gain a new health heart or stamina track – 5

It starts to rain…again… – 1

Rain stops you from climbing mid-climb – Finish your drink while you wait…and wait.

The Blood Moon Rises – 5 or a shot

Stay at an inn – Sip an energy drink if you’ve got one, or water

Die – Shot

Die from lightning – 2 shots 


If you manage to play the entire game by these rules write to us, but please don’t send us your medical bills. Drink responsibly.

Doom Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS4, Xbox One, PC


Alright, so, I’ll be upfront about this one. I didn’t play this a whole lot. It’s not really my kind of FPS, but it was fun while I had my time with it. The online multiplayer was promising, but it didn’t feel tight enough for me to commit to the game (I played during a free-to-play weekend). The campaign was interesting, though, which is what I decided to set up some basic rules for. I’d call this a completionist’s drinking game, if I were to put a label on it. It’s short and simple, like our “About” section advertises, and we only sometimes stick to…

Doom Drinking Game

Obviously my opinion isn’t the majority opinion. Sue me.

The Rules

Doomguy Hits / Destroys Something Just Because – 5

New Weapon – 5

Obtain a Weapon Upgrade – 5

Find a ‘Secret’ – 3

Health / Armor / Ammo Upgrade – 5

Encounter a New Monster (The Menu Log Will Tell You) – 5

Reach a Checkpoint – 3

“Impact Compensation” – 3

Forget You’re Always Running and hit L3 (Or Whatever the Normal Run Button is) to Sprint – 3

A Corpse Reanimates on You – 3

You Perform a Gory Kill – 1

You Die – Shot

Samuel Contacts You – 5

Miss a Mission Challenge – 5 Per Challenge Missed

Drink 2 for Every “Exploration” Item Missed in the Mission Summary

Doomguy super smash bros crossover

I would so be down for this. Especially if he could blow Meta Knight in half.

Horizon Zero Dawn Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS4


If you were to ask me what the best new IP to release in the last few years was, I’d ultimately have to say Horizon Zero Dawn. If you haven’t played it yet, you’re in for one of the best narratives in gaming since The Last of Us, in my expert* opinion. The combat is very addictive, as well, but I was mostly impressed with a story that was so fresh in comparison to many of the games we have today. I hope this game can help you enjoy it as much as I did.

* – Expert in domestic beer. It’s important.
Horizon Zero Dawn In a Nutshell Drinking Game

I promise it all makes sense after a few hours…

Due to the fact that I love the story so much, a lot of the rules are going to revolve around the story and quests. That is, besides my favorite aspect of this drinking game, which is The Name Game, which I’ll display first. What is it, you ask? Well, Aloy gets a lot of, uh, “titles” throughout the course of the game. I’ve taken the liberty of writing most of them down and assigning drink values to them. Some of these might be slight spoilers, but some of them are sarcastic, so you can’t really know which ones are serious! Enjoy! And let me know if there are any I’ve missed, and I’ll be sure to add them to the list.


The Name Game

Nora – 1

Aloy – 2

Outcast – 3

Brave – 3

Outlander – 3

Seeker – 4

Anointed – 4

Heathen – 5

Curse – 5

Trash – Shot

horizon-zero-dawn-cover

It really is almost this pretty in-game. Okay, I’ll stop drooling over it.

The Other Rules

Save at a Campfire – 1

Finish a Quest – 5

You See a New Machine for the First Time – 10 / Shot

Someone Tells You to “Follow” – 3

A Story Character Dies Onscreen – 10 / Shot

You Fail Sneaking up on an Enemy – 5

Fail a Hunting Grounds Trial – 5

Clear a Hunting Grounds Trial – 2 / 5 / 10 Per Level of Sun Earned, Respectively

Clear a Corrupted Zone – 5

Clear a Bandit Camp – 10 / Shot

Clear a Cauldron – Shot

You Die – Shot

Use the Elevator – Chug!

Rappel Down – Chug!

You Pull a 12% Medicinal Herb (Or Whatever is Lowest for Your Difficulty) – 1

Find a Collectable / Vantage Point / Data File – 5

Find a Power Cell – 10 / Shot

Override a Tall Neck – 5

Rost is Mentioned – 5

Sylens Contacts You – 5

Elisabet’s Name is Said – 3


Extreme Mode

Take a drink any time you receive damage from a machine.

Spaceteam Drinking Game

Players: 2-8

iOS, Android


“Do you like pushing buttons and shouting at your friends?” (Google Play Store)

Spaceteam is the perfect party phone game if you’ve grown tired of putting words on your forehead.

There are a few ways you can add a boozy element to the fun, from simply taking a shot when you lose, or by following some of our fun twists.

Place your bets
As with most games, one easy way to make it competitive and drunk is to add the element of an initial drink wager. Someone starts the betting by saying something a long the lines of “One drink says we make it past phase 1,” and then someone else can raise the wager by raising the drink amount, phase, or both. Once someone has out bid the rest of the team, they drink their wager and the game begins. If the team is successful, they give out double their wager and the process starts over. This game will only work well if no one is trying to sabotage the better. Just follow the “Don’t be a dick” rule, and you’re sure to have a great time.

Primesucker

If you mess up this bet,
you’re gonna ~be~ the primesucker.

Set Phasers to Lush
Every time you reach a new round, everyone must take a drink quickly while the screen is loading.

No Cursing, You *%#@!
Every time you curse, you must take a drink. Immediately.

WaitingRoom

You’re gonna #$&! this rule up the moment you realize Riley is still not in the $%&*#@! waiting room.

Play it at a Bar and let Them Stare
Every time a stranger wanders over to ask what the hell you’re all doing, order a round of shots for the team.

Teamwork

Shit’s really hitting the fan, guys. We’re not gonna make it. It’s been an honor flying with you.

don-t-drink-and-fly

Downwell Drinking Game

Players: 2

PS4, PS Vita, Mobile, PC


Downwell is a simple and addicting retro-style game available for free on PSN for Playstation Plus subscribers in the month of August (2017)! Basically, you jump down a well and kill things as you advance farther and farther downward. You’ll die. A lot. I crafted the game for two people. There’s not enough content to really go at it by yourself, unless you’re just looking to wreck yourself, but it makes for a great back and forth drinking game.

Downwell screen drinking game

I don’t know who this is. I never made it that far. I’m really bad at the game.

The Rules

The Person Playing…

  • Take 10 if You Die

The Other Person…

  • Takes 5 if You Pass a Stage
  • Takes 10 or a Shot if You Pass an Entire Level

Social x 5…

  • If You Unlock a New Palette or Style

Borderlands 2 Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PS4, PS3, Xbox One, 360, Vita, PC


Handsome Jack, here! I bet you came to this page looking for a good time with some friends. Well, I’ve got some news for you, Vault Hunter: It’s going to be a shit time, because your friends are shit. And you are, too, probably. But, despite these shortcomings, I’m still going to give you some guidelines on how I want you to play my game that might benefit your overall objective of getting with the girl across the hall or starting up that garage band you guys mentioned 46 Tuesdays ago.

Just had to touch me, eh?

That’s right 2K Games, I said MY game. Get lost.

Now, I’m gonna lay out the list of ways to slow you d….I mean, get you through this grand adventure of villainy against a righteous hero. I’ll tell you one thing to get you started: When you hear the name of your lord and savior, you better be drinking.


The Rules

Someone says “Jack” – 1

Someone says “Handsome Jack” – 2

Jack says “Jack” – 5

Jack says “Handsome Jack” – 10 or Shot (Preferably of Jack)

Someone Mentions the Vault – 1

Someone Calls You a Vault Hunter – 1

Important Dramatic Character Introduction – Social

Hear “It’s a Fantastic Day for Capitalism!” – 1

Someone Curses – 1 (You’re Welcome)

Someone Takes a Drink of Alcohol – 5

Story Character Dies – 5

Complete a Mission – Social

  • Add an extra 5 if it’s a Claptrap or Scooter Mission

New Chapter – 5

Level Up – Give Out or Take for the Level You’ve Reached

Spend a Skill Point – 5

Spend a Badass Point – 3

Change Your Outfit – 5

Spawn Vehicle – 5

Travel to Location Together – Social

Death – 5

  • Only Drink 2 if you Score a Second Wind Recovery

Open an Empty Box / Container – 3

Pick up Eridium – Drink the Value of the Eridium Obtained

Magikarp Jump Drinking Game

Players: 1

iOS, Android

Ok, yes, Magikarp Jump is a game designed to keep your children distracted long enough for you to make it through your grocery list incident-free, but don’t pretend like you’re not training your own little pathetic flopper when you have nothing better to do.

This game is best for when you are bored, have no plans, and just really need a reason to drink.


Drinks

  • Magikarp levels up
  • Win a league battle
  • Train your magikarp
  • Special event occurs
  • Use a friendly pokemon’s ability

3 Drinks

  • Retire a magikarp at max level
  • Win a league championship
  • Retry fishing a magikarp
  • Try a risky event option and succeed
    • Such as opening a pokeball, trying to get a berry, telling magikarp to find its own way home, or investigating a mysterious sparkling object in the water.
  • Receive a friend candy for leveling up a training course or food item

Shot

  • Lose a magikarp
  • Forced retirement before max level
  • Food frenzy

Don’t worry, you’ll be drunk as a fish before you have your second league championship.

Esther

When your magikarp dies while giving birth to your children after you’ve turned to the darkside and lost literally everyone else that ever mattered to you.

Nintendo Land Drinking Games

Players: 2-5

Wii U


A game that was largely conceived to show off the gamepad capabilities of the Wii U for its launch, Nintendo Land is one of my favorite titles for the system. I mean, it’s a party game, so you know it’s right up our alley. There are so many different games included, some with surprising depth. The drinking game is good for any player range, so grab as many people as you like, or drink alone. Mario Chase and Luigi’s Ghost Mansion are probably my favorites, but there’s something here for everything. Enjoy!

Coin Drop

Nintendo Land Coin Drop Drinking Game

If it takes you all 457 coins you have to drink a handle of Captain Morgan.

Take a drink for as many coins as you dropped to clear the stage. The other players can keep count for you.

Mario Chase

If Mario wins, everyone else takes 5 drinks.

If Mario is caught, his player takes a shot.

 

Luigi’s Ghost Mansion

If you’re captured, take 5 drinks.

If you die as the ghost, take a shot.

 

Animal Crossing: Sweet Days

If you are caught, take 7 drinks.

If they collect all pieces, utensils person takes a shot.

 

Captain Falcon’s Twister Race

For each zone passed by the player, others in the room take a drink for each second they had left on the clock.

If the player does not make it to the first checkpoint or dies by falling off or crashing at ANY point, they take a shot.

 

Zelda Battle Quest

Give 3 for every heart you have left at the end.

Take 3 for every heart lost on the end-of-level report.

Take a shot if you die.

 

Balloon Trip Breeze

For every 10 points you get, give out 1 drink

Land on the Second Place Platform: Give 5 Drinks

Land on the First Place Platform: Give 10 Drinks

 

Yoshi’s Fruit Cart

Take 5 drinks every time you fail.

Give out 1 drink for every 50 points you collect over your reign.

 

Octopus Dance

Give out 1 drink for every blue medal.

Give out 3 drinks for every gold medal.

 

Donkey Kong Crash Course

Take 2 drinks every time you die.

For every checkpoint you pass, everyone else takes 3 drinks.

If someone makes it to the end of the first board, everyone else takes a shot.

 

Pikmin Adventure

The losing player takes drinks for the difference in points (divide by 2 if over 20)

Winning side takes an additional 5 drinks if they were KO’d during the match.

 

Ninja Castle

Take a drink for every missed ninja at the end of the round.

 

Metroid Blast (Assualt Mission)

For every 5 hits you achieved give out 2 drinks.

For every point of damage you received take 2 drinks.

If you died take a shot.