Super Mario Bros. 3 Drinking Game

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Wii, Wii U, 3DS…I don’t know, probably fucking anything.


Super Mario Bros. 3, one of everyone’s favorite retro games, is the ultimate classic. It built upon its predecessors’ success and perfected the formula for the NES era. With its array of fresh drug-inspired power-ups, Mario could hop and fly his way to victory. And then slaughter Bowser, once again.

kill bowser

This… might explain a few things.

I’m including two separate games. One for each single and multiplayer with some overlap. I’m going to warn you, if you follow the exact rules, especially for the multiplayer game, you’re going to be fucked real hard. So, hopefully, that’s what you’re looking for! If not, just dial the drinks back a bit. The shots, too. And don’t suck.

Enjoy!

Single Player

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Guess the Mushroom House Prize – Take 5 if Wrong

Don’t Match Any Cards – 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – 3
  • Flower – 1
  • Star – 0

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – 0
  • 2 of the Same – 5
  • None of the Same – 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

hammer bros drinking game

Funny that the Hammer Bros. are the ones making you take shots..

Multiplayer

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Bet on the Mushroom House Prize:

  • Correct – Give 5
  • Wrong – Take 2

Succeed at Matching Any Cards – Give 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – Give 1
  • Flower – Give 3
  • Star – Give 5

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – Give a Shot
  • 2 of the Same – Give 5
  • None of the Same – Take a Shot

Battle Mode – Loser Takes 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

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Final Fantasy XV Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS4, Xbox One


I waited 10 fucking years for this game. Announced way back in 2006, the title was supposed to launch alongside Final Fantasy XIII as Final Fantasy Versus XIII, and everyone wanted it so bad. Like, boycotting Square Enix and not supporting them until it released bad. That’s mainly because FFXIII was such a letdown with too much linearity and an uninteresting story, though I do enjoy the battle system once you get closer to the end of the game. Anyways, if you’re playing FFXV now then you probably know all of that. You’re welcome for my useless rambling.

Moving on. I love the game. It might have some flawed areas, and it’s a bit of a mess. But it’s a mess in the way you might remember opening presents on Christmas morning. You’ve just finished tearing everything apart, there’s wrapping paper strung about everywhere, and there’s so much trash to clean up, but look at all the cool shit you got out of it. A great battle system, interesting characters (best if you’ve watched Brotherhood), a great story – once you’ve done a bit of research to fill in the gaps, and an open world unprecedented in a Final Fantasy title.

Sorry, this isn’t a review site, but I felt I had to give my two cents. For as many hours as I’ve already put into the game, I’ve actually kept the drinking rules fairly easy for this title. That’s largely because there are quite a few great recurring elements strung about. I’ll say, this is best for the open world questing. I do have rules set up for story elements, but it’s not quite at the same level, considering most of your time will be spent on your own because the story is on the short side.

Shiva FFXV Gentiana

Did someone say… frozen margaritas?

The Game

Story

Complete a Quest – 5

Complete a Chapter – 10

Ardyn Appears – 5

Luna Appears – 10

Anyone Treats Noct Like a Child – 2*

Obtain New Summon – 10

Someone Dies – Shot*

Battle / General

Run From a Fight – 5*

Opportunity to Summon – 5

Imperials Drop Down – 3

Ariana Joins in Battle – 5

Daemons Appear – 5

Someone Dies in Battle – 5

Ignis Comes Up With a New Recipe! – 5

Realize You Forgot to Rent Chocobos Before Going Out – 10

Hear a New Character Line (“Is Ebony really all that good?”) – 2

Hear an Old Character Line (“This is just like King’s Knight!” for the 1000th time) – 1*

Gentiana / Carbuncle Appears in a Photo – 5

A Photo is Blocked by a Random Bush / Tree – 5

Drink 2 for every minute the car ride is

If you encounter animals crossing the road, drink until they’re finished crossing

Game Over – Shot

*Liver Danger Rules

Skyrim Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, 360, PC


Skyrim has been out for ages now, and, having just jumped back into it, it’s as addicting as ever. I decided to write up a drinking game for it simply because I wanted to revisit the gorgeous countryside and reanimating dead corpses, but I wasn’t sure it was going to be the best material to drink to. I was wrong. There are a few recurring elements that walk the edge of comical at how often they pop up, usually within succession. It’s a bit of a shorter list than usual, but it works. Let’s get into it.

skyrim artowrk

You know how Tyler Durden “re-imagines” himself as Brad Pitt? That’s this guy for me.

Story Drinks

Any form of the word “Dragon” is mentioned – be prepared.

Skyrim is mentioned.

Someone comments on your race, gender, appearance.

Someone asks if you’re sick.

Any of the recruiting groups are mentioned – Legion, Stormcloaks, Thieves Guild, etc.

Slagathor in Skyrim - Character Creator

Slagathor is harassed pretty consistently in Skyrim.

Mechanical Drinks

You level up – drink the number of your new level.

Any skill goes up.

Fail a lockpick attempt – drink for each broken pin.

Fail a conversation attempt – persuade, intimidate, etc.

You find some kind of alcohol in a chest / container. Drink for each one.

Drink 5 for death – make it a shot if it’s from a trap.

Take a shot if you let your horse die because shame on you.

Dead horse Skyrim

You fucking fucks.

All I can say is a few conversations with the Jarl and the Greybeards about dragons and dragonborn, and you’re gonna forget you already accidentally killed your horse three goddamn times.

Dragon Age: Origins Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, 360, PC


Dragon Age is probably my favorite of Bioware’s game series. I might be a bigger advocate of Mass Effect, but I tend to lean towards fantasy over sci-fi as a general theme. That’s not really important here, though. You’re here because you want to get drunk. Or you’re lost. Either way, you might as well finish reading this article.

Dragon Age Origins Inventory Screen

That’s right. Slagathor continues in Ferelden.

This is a single player drinking game, but you’re always free to let friends join you with the same or modified rules. Every drink cue will be worth one drink unless otherwise specified. I’ll break them up into categories to make them a bit easier to reference for you. You’re fucking welcome.

Story

Grey Wardens are Mentioned

The Maker is Mentioned

The Blight is Mentioned

Racism is Apparent 

Someone Curses

Loghain is On Screen (stops applying if you recruit him.. unless you hate yourself)

Someone Takes a Drink

Sandal says “Enchantment”

Someone Thanks The Maker When They Clearly Should be Thanking You

Party Member Disapproves – Drink For Each Point

Make the Decision to Kill Someone – Shot


Party Members

Alistair is Sarcastic

Morrigan is Heartless

Sten Gives One Word Answer

Leliana is Over Considerate

Wynne is Concerned About The Maker

Oghren is Bitter

Shale is Condescending

Loghain… I Don’t Know; I Never Let Him Live


Mechanical

A Dialogue Option Appears With Drinking

Your Character Does a Special Finishing Move (Best Played With Melee Character)

Level Up on any Character

Accidentally Pull Out Weapon

Game Appears to Freeze

Party Member Falls in Battle

Accidentally Speak to Party Member When Trying to Click an Item

Game Over – Shot

dragon age dragon kill

If you get a sweet Dragon kill like this, everyone else finishes their drinks. If you don’t have friends, you finish your drink.

Limbo Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PS3, PS4, Wii U, Xbox 360, Mobile, PC


Limbo is one of my favorite Indie Games of all time. It’s creepy as hell, all while delivering a truly interesting puzzle platforming experience. The best part of it, though, is all of the wonderful ways you can die. And you die pretty consistently. You can be dismembered, smashed, drowned – you can see where this is going.

limbo screenshot

Death by zipline is my preference.

So, you can certainly play this game alone, but I’d say it’s definitely better with friends so you can start yelling at each other. I’m actually stealing a bit of the strategy from our Flappy Bird game, but I’m tweaking it to make sense for this one. It has the possibility to get brutal, so I hope you’re ready to forget the rest of your evening (or morning, no judgement).

drunk in the morning

Round two begins in 45, troops.

The Rules

As I mentioned before, you die a lot in Limbo. A stupid amount. Bunches. So…

Take a drink if you die, and pass the controller.*

That’s not so bad, right?

* – If any previous player has already died in this spot, increase death drinks by 1.

Oh.

So, to spell it out a bit, if you die in the same spot as your best friend Larry, you now have to take 2 drinks every time you die. If this happens again, it’s 3 drinks, and so on and so forth. And this applies to everyone’s death drinks. So, even if Tiny Tim is the one that keeps dying in the repeat spots, you still have to up your death drinks.

I like that term. Death drinks. I think I’ll save it for my inevitable Dark Souls game. Tiny Tim will probably screw you over in that one, too. Fuck Tiny Tim.

drunk tiny tim

More whiskey, Scrooge.

I’m really interested to see if anyone finishes the game by these rules. It’s not impossible, but you’ll probably have to have played it a few times before and generally just be good at it.

So, if you do happen to be playing with an asshole that is really good at the game, here are a few additional rules to help keep some of the beer flowing:

Drink for…

  • Spider / monster appearance
  • Another human on screen, dead / alive
  • Something startles you
  • Something alters your character’s abilities / movement
  • A shot for a sighting of your sister

Extreme Mode

Up the death drinks for every time anyone dies.

Have fun. Don’t die yourself.

Final Fantasy Tactics Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PSX, PS3, PS4, PSP, PC, GBA


Final Fantasy Tactics is a game jam-packed with nostalgia. Its advanced job system laid the groundwork for tactical RPGs everywhere. It’s highly addictive, and it is at the same time quite rage-inducing. I have become quite a fan of the tactical RPG for drinking games, and for this one I’ll be taking a few lines from our XCOM drinking game (which is great, btw).

final fantasy tactics art

You’re all going to die.

Due to the recurring story elements and style of fighting, this game also makes a decent single player game with some altered rules. We’ll start with the multiplayer section first, though.

Battle – Multiplayer

The customization options aren’t quite as intricate in FFT as they are in XCOM, so you’ll basically just want to pick characters to assign to each person at random for this game. The character(s) chosen will represent you in the game for all drinking purposes. Try to keep the same amount of characters for everyone. If you have one odd out, make it a “social” character, and everyone drinks.

Your character hits an enemy – Give a drink

  • Double if hitting with counter

Your character is hit – Take a drink

  • Double if hit by counter

Go a round with no damage either way – Social

Your character dies – Take 3 Drinks

Your character levels up (job levels included) – Give

You generate friendly fire – The person controlling and the person’s character hit both take 2 drinks

End round with nobody currently dead – Controller gives out 5 drinks for every person playing (these can be combined to give to just one person, if desired)

Player fails mission or loses – They finish their drink

For every chocobo in fight at beginning of battle – Drink 1

final fantasy tactics jobs

I think I have multiple personality disorder.

Battle – Single Player

Take a drink when any of the following happen:

  • Countered
  • Opposing Team Levels Up
  • Opposing Team Heals
  • Push the Wrong Button on Controller
  • Dialogue Happens Mid-Fight
  • Move to the Wrong Spot
  • You are Knocked Back
  • Hit by Summon – One for Each Person Hit
  • Death – Take 3
  • Fail Mission – Finish Drink

Extreme Mode

Take a shot if a guest character gets themselves killed in battle.

final fantasy tactics drinking game

The very start of this game and I already have people hounding me.

Story

These are good for both single player and multiplayer games!

Take a drink when…

  • Slagathor’s – or whatever terrible name you decide on for your character – name is said
  • Delita is mentioned
  • God is brought up
  • Chocobo appears
  • Opaque flashback sequence
  • Have unfortunate feelings toward a main character (Algus, a Beoulve brother, etc.)
  • Member of Beoulve or Heiral (Delita’s) family dies – Take 5

I’m sure there are other recurring items that would be a great addition to this list, but it has been a while since I’ve made it super far into the game, and it’s hard and things. Feel free to add your own to the comments, and I’ll be happy to add them to the official list if I decide I like it.

Slender Drinking Game

Players: 2-??

PC


I personally find Slender to be the scariest fucking game in existence. I think my top score ever is 6 pages, and I’m pretty sure I pissed myself. I never, ever played it alone, either. I don’t think it affects everyone the same way, but the premise of the game always unnerved me.

slender man drinking game

If I have to kill one more person for walking in on me in the bathroom…

Anyway, here’s a super simple game that is great with a group of friends if you want to get drunk and scared at the same time – good scared. And this is for the original download of the game, “The Eight Pages.” I heard “The Arrival” didn’t really deliver, and the premise seems the same, so feel free to try it with that as well.

The Game

One person will be in control of the game at a time. The person playing is essentially immune to drinks* during gameplay, so you can focus on running around trying to make hell for your friends. This person will play the game normally, but every time they pick up a new page, everyone watching has to take 5** drinks. Essentially you’ll just do this and rotate until everyone is on the floor. There is no penalty for dying, unless you die with only 0-1 pages. Take a shot for that because you’re bad.

*  – Player takes shot if they chicken out before death.

** – You decide the amount to take. Can highly depend on who is playing / how fast people die in your group.

Civilization V Drinking Game

Players: 1-12

PC


Civilization is a long running franchise that makes it very easy to lose several hours of your life pitting George Washington against Gandhi. It makes it especially worse now that you can do this with friends online. So, what better way to enhance the experience than with drinking? I’m sure a lot of players out there are already drinking alongside their campaigns to begin with, but we figure we’ll just throw in some rules to make it more interesting.

civilization v gameplay

Let’s play “just the tip”

This game will play fairly differently if you decide to play alone or with other people. Basically, if you’re alone, just take the assigned amount. And yes, doing things that tend to benefit you will score you drinks. That’s what drinking alone is all about. If you’re with friends, a lot of things are switched over to the give category.

On Your Own

Finish Research / Production – Drink 1

City Grows – Drink 3

Destroy Enemy Unit – Drink 3

Reputation Goes Up With Nation or Declare Friendship – Drink 3

Reputation Goes Down With Nation or Declare War – Drink 5

Found a City – Drink 5

Connect Two Cities by Road or Borders – Drink 5

Consume a Great Person – Consume 5

Hit Negative Gold Income – Drink 5

Your Unit Dies – Drink 5

Lose a City – Take Shot


With Friends

A lot of the rules for multiplayer can be decided before going into it, mainly drink amounts and such. It can depend on how many of you there are and how fucked up you want to get, but I’m building this with 3-4 players in mind.

Ideally, you’ll want to make a map that is mostly occupied by just the group you’re playing with. You can have some NPCs in there if you’re short on friends, though.

The goal is to kill each other. You can play this as tactfully or as sloppy as you like. For a level of fairness and balance, I’ll suggest you not make alliances with anyone else while playing, but that is just a suggestion. For acts of violence against other players, those players will drink. Or you will, if you’re an idiot.

Rules

Declare War on a Player – They Take 3

Down a Player’s Unit – They Take 5

Enter a Golden Age – Give 5

Found a New City – Give 10

Enter a New Era – Give 10

Destroy / Take City 

  • They Take a Shot
  • If More Than 2 People Playing, You Can Also Give an Additional Shot to Person of Your Choice

Win The Game – Give 2 Shots

Bonus / Hardcore Mode

Assign a specific technology somewhere in the technology tree to trigger shots to all opposing players for the first person to hit it. You can do this with multiple techs. It’s in your hands, now.

Let us know how you enjoy the game. Try not to turn it into the intro to the Fallout series. Or do. I don’t fucking care.

 

Titan Quest Drinking Game

Players: 1-6

PC, Mobile


Titan Quest is an older action RPG on the PC. In fact, it’s been 10 years since its initial release, but the developers have come back to this one and done some remodeling. So this is to celebrate that. Resembling Diablo in many ways, the game mostly revolves around creating a killing machine to sweep through the game. Given that, the drinking game will mainly revolve around killing, quests, and items. It’s a simple but effective game.

I haven’t played the most up to date version of the game, but the rules should be similar. Multiplayer mode can also focus more on kills and item drops to make communication easier. It also helps match the pace a bit better that way.

titan quest gameplay

I didn’t realize this was going to be a nudist party.

Accept a Quest – Drink 2

Quest Updates – Drink 1

Complete Quest – Drink 5

Beat a Regular Boss – Drink 5

Beat a Titan – Drink 10

Level Up – Drink 5

Notified You’re Out of Room – Drink 2

Legendary/Epic Item Drops (whichever is respectively the “rare” type at your level of progression) – Shot

Death – Shot

titan quest inventory screen

This seems like the ideal time to check my inventory.

This game is best played with quick shot items. We use the same strategy for Diablo III by using Fireball, and it’s great to do right before going to your weekly volleyball game. Get wrecked.

Call of Duty Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PS4, Xbox One, Wii U, PC


Call of Duty is a long time drinking game favorite, at least in my circle. But we could just be alcoholics. We mainly like to muffle our yelling at the television and each other with beer and fireball. With that said, there are tons of different ways to drink with this game, and there’s a lot of different versions of this game. Feel free to take any rules and adjust them for whatever is best suited to you. The main idea is to establish a base model for your consumption needs. Black Ops III is the main reference for the game, but most of the rules apply to any.

This will mainly revolve around deaths. There are plenty of different games to make for individual play modes, but there’s a lot of those, and we’re lazy.

call of duty gameplay

General Gameplay

Death by…

  • Standard – 1 Drink
  • Headshot – 2 Drinks
  • Scorestreak – 3 Drinks
  • Melee / Projectile – 5 Drinks
  • Suicide / Accident – Shot

Bonus: Take shot if you’re sporting the skull (dead at the end of the match)

With Friends

Give a drink for every kill you have at the end of the match.

Give additional drinks for top three placement: 3 for third, 6 for second, 9 for first.

black ops 3 match results

Extreme Mode

Take a shot if you have a negative K/D ratio.

Finish whatever drink you have during match intermissions.

Drink 5 if you yell.