Stardew Valley Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PC

MINOR SPOILERS IN THE SCREENSHOTS


Co-op beta has begun, and you know we’re playing it. I thought long and hard (not really) about how to get as drunk as Shane playing Stardew Valley together or solo. The stories in this game are so well written and engaging, it seems shameful to potentially forget them in an inebriated state… but that’s what we’re here to do. At least some of our neighbors would probably approve (I’m looking at you, Pam and Shane.)

Have a cold one with Shane

Me every night after work.

The Rules

Drink 1:

At the start of each sunny day

When you sell items to a shop (1 per item stack)

When you harvest, collect, fish or forage a purple star quality item

When you mine any of the following: Iridium (1 per drop), Diamond, any Geode

When you acquire a new friendship heart with someone

When you find something other than trash in a trash can

When you buy a ticket to go to The Desert

When you give someone a gift on their birthday

When you donate an item to the museum

When a neighbor sends you an item or recipe in the mail

When you complete a daily quest

Multiple Drinks:

2 drinks – At the start of each rainy day

3 drinks – When you enter a cutscene

3 drinks – When you complete a long-term quest

1 drink per $1000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day up to $9,000
1 shot per $10,000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day

3 drinks – When you drink an alcoholic beverage in game (drinks in cutscenes included)

3 drinks – When a train passes through Stardew Valley

3 drinks – When you give someone a gift they hate

5 drinks or a shot – When you attend a seasonal/holiday event

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet

When you give a mermaid pendant

When “an explosion is heard during the night”

When you pass out from exhaustion (whether from low energy or from being awake too late)

When you access a new area of the game for the first time

When someone catches you looking in a trash can

I just want everyone to have a good time

Me too, Emily, but my idea was to get everybody hammered.

 

Additional Rules for Co-op:

Drink 1:

When you walk through each other

When you both/all work on the same tile (mining, farming, fishing, etc)

When you gain a new heart with a player character

Drink 3:

When you get pulled into someone else’s cutscene from afar

When you sleep in the same bed

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet to a player character, or when you receive one

Take 2 Shots:

When you marry another player character. Cheers, losers.

Be more social

 

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Fortnite Drinking Game

Players: 1-99

PS4, Xbox One, iOS, PC 


In honor of our return to the business of pretending-to-have-a-productive-reason-for-drinking, we’re throwing a couple of big title games your way. There’s nothing much bigger than Fortnite right now, which I do quite enjoy, but I’m surprised it’s still going. And the other big title for the month is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, so make sure to check that out!

Fortnite Battle Royale Glider Girl

Me gliding away from all of my problems to my living room couch to play more Fortnite.

To clarify, we’re only doing a game for the Battle Royale mode. I’m sure that doesn’t really surprise anyone, but I wanted to clarify. I’ve never paid money for the actual game… or know anyone that has. Anyway, to the goods!

I have a special Death Game to provide the basis for the drinking involved, and then I also have standard rules set up for specific events.


The Death Game

The rules for this are simple:

  • For every 5 people remaining when you die, you drink 1.
    • This is a potential 20 drink hit if you die immediately.

There’s a catch, though.

  • Once you are under 50 remaining players, this number actually now applies to your friends watching or playing alongside you, but in the opposite direction.

So, if you survive to the 30th spot, your friends drink the equivalent of placement 70, which is 14 drinks, thus your incentive for survival is extra high in this game. All other players required to take a shot if you win (does not apply to fellow teammates that survived the round).

I know you guys are thrilled to try it out.

Fornite unicorn harvest tool rainbow

It truly is a strange, magical place.

The Basics

  • Jumping from the Plane – Social
  • Ammo Box – 2
  • Chest – 3
  • Gnome – 5
  • Orange/Legendary Weapon Found – 10
  • Llama – 15
  • Kill Someone – Everyone Else Drinks 5
  • Finish a Season Goal – Amount of Stars You Earn
  • Someone Dances on you after you Die – *Extra Death Shot*

Spaceteam Drinking Game

Players: 2-8

iOS, Android


“Do you like pushing buttons and shouting at your friends?” (Google Play Store)

Spaceteam is the perfect party phone game if you’ve grown tired of putting words on your forehead.

There are a few ways you can add a boozy element to the fun, from simply taking a shot when you lose, or by following some of our fun twists.

Place your bets
As with most games, one easy way to make it competitive and drunk is to add the element of an initial drink wager. Someone starts the betting by saying something a long the lines of “One drink says we make it past phase 1,” and then someone else can raise the wager by raising the drink amount, phase, or both. Once someone has out bid the rest of the team, they drink their wager and the game begins. If the team is successful, they give out double their wager and the process starts over. This game will only work well if no one is trying to sabotage the better. Just follow the “Don’t be a dick” rule, and you’re sure to have a great time.

Primesucker

If you mess up this bet,
you’re gonna ~be~ the primesucker.

Set Phasers to Lush
Every time you reach a new round, everyone must take a drink quickly while the screen is loading.

No Cursing, You *%#@!
Every time you curse, you must take a drink. Immediately.

WaitingRoom

You’re gonna #$&! this rule up the moment you realize Riley is still not in the $%&*#@! waiting room.

Play it at a Bar and let Them Stare
Every time a stranger wanders over to ask what the hell you’re all doing, order a round of shots for the team.

Teamwork

Shit’s really hitting the fan, guys. We’re not gonna make it. It’s been an honor flying with you.

don-t-drink-and-fly

Downwell Drinking Game

Players: 2

PS4, PS Vita, Mobile, PC


Downwell is a simple and addicting retro-style game available for free on PSN for Playstation Plus subscribers in the month of August (2017)! Basically, you jump down a well and kill things as you advance farther and farther downward. You’ll die. A lot. I crafted the game for two people. There’s not enough content to really go at it by yourself, unless you’re just looking to wreck yourself, but it makes for a great back and forth drinking game.

Downwell screen drinking game

I don’t know who this is. I never made it that far. I’m really bad at the game.

The Rules

The Person Playing…

  • Take 10 if You Die

The Other Person…

  • Takes 5 if You Pass a Stage
  • Takes 10 or a Shot if You Pass an Entire Level

Social x 5…

  • If You Unlock a New Palette or Style

Borderlands 2 Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PS4, PS3, Xbox One, 360, Vita, PC


Handsome Jack, here! I bet you came to this page looking for a good time with some friends. Well, I’ve got some news for you, Vault Hunter: It’s going to be a shit time, because your friends are shit. And you are, too, probably. But, despite these shortcomings, I’m still going to give you some guidelines on how I want you to play my game that might benefit your overall objective of getting with the girl across the hall or starting up that garage band you guys mentioned 46 Tuesdays ago.

Just had to touch me, eh?

That’s right 2K Games, I said MY game. Get lost.

Now, I’m gonna lay out the list of ways to slow you d….I mean, get you through this grand adventure of villainy against a righteous hero. I’ll tell you one thing to get you started: When you hear the name of your lord and savior, you better be drinking.


The Rules

Someone says “Jack” – 1

Someone says “Handsome Jack” – 2

Jack says “Jack” – 5

Jack says “Handsome Jack” – 10 or Shot (Preferably of Jack)

Someone Mentions the Vault – 1

Someone Calls You a Vault Hunter – 1

Important Dramatic Character Introduction – Social

Hear “It’s a Fantastic Day for Capitalism!” – 1

Someone Curses – 1 (You’re Welcome)

Someone Takes a Drink of Alcohol – 5

Story Character Dies – 5

Complete a Mission – Social

  • Add an extra 5 if it’s a Claptrap or Scooter Mission

New Chapter – 5

Level Up – Give Out or Take for the Level You’ve Reached

Spend a Skill Point – 5

Spend a Badass Point – 3

Change Your Outfit – 5

Spawn Vehicle – 5

Travel to Location Together – Social

Death – 5

  • Only Drink 2 if you Score a Second Wind Recovery

Open an Empty Box / Container – 3

Pick up Eridium – Drink the Value of the Eridium Obtained

Nintendo Land Drinking Games

Players: 2-5

Wii U


A game that was largely conceived to show off the gamepad capabilities of the Wii U for its launch, Nintendo Land is one of my favorite titles for the system. I mean, it’s a party game, so you know it’s right up our alley. There are so many different games included, some with surprising depth. The drinking game is good for any player range, so grab as many people as you like, or drink alone. Mario Chase and Luigi’s Ghost Mansion are probably my favorites, but there’s something here for everything. Enjoy!

Coin Drop

Nintendo Land Coin Drop Drinking Game

If it takes you all 457 coins you have to drink a handle of Captain Morgan.

Take a drink for as many coins as you dropped to clear the stage. The other players can keep count for you.

Mario Chase

If Mario wins, everyone else takes 5 drinks.

If Mario is caught, his player takes a shot.

 

Luigi’s Ghost Mansion

If you’re captured, take 5 drinks.

If you die as the ghost, take a shot.

 

Animal Crossing: Sweet Days

If you are caught, take 7 drinks.

If they collect all pieces, utensils person takes a shot.

 

Captain Falcon’s Twister Race

For each zone passed by the player, others in the room take a drink for each second they had left on the clock.

If the player does not make it to the first checkpoint or dies by falling off or crashing at ANY point, they take a shot.

 

Zelda Battle Quest

Give 3 for every heart you have left at the end.

Take 3 for every heart lost on the end-of-level report.

Take a shot if you die.

 

Balloon Trip Breeze

For every 10 points you get, give out 1 drink

Land on the Second Place Platform: Give 5 Drinks

Land on the First Place Platform: Give 10 Drinks

 

Yoshi’s Fruit Cart

Take 5 drinks every time you fail.

Give out 1 drink for every 50 points you collect over your reign.

 

Octopus Dance

Give out 1 drink for every blue medal.

Give out 3 drinks for every gold medal.

 

Donkey Kong Crash Course

Take 2 drinks every time you die.

For every checkpoint you pass, everyone else takes 3 drinks.

If someone makes it to the end of the first board, everyone else takes a shot.

 

Pikmin Adventure

The losing player takes drinks for the difference in points (divide by 2 if over 20)

Winning side takes an additional 5 drinks if they were KO’d during the match.

 

Ninja Castle

Take a drink for every missed ninja at the end of the round.

 

Metroid Blast (Assualt Mission)

For every 5 hits you achieved give out 2 drinks.

For every point of damage you received take 2 drinks.

If you died take a shot.

Diablo III Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PS3, PS4, PC, 360, Xbox One


So, this is a very basic drinking game, but it’s also very close to my heart…

A bunch of us used to live together in a three-story home that we rented in a not-so-wonderful area of St. Louis (it helped bring us all closer together…sorta). We all worked for the same company, and they didn’t have hours on Sundays. This meant that every Saturday night and all of Sunday we’d basically be partying. This is where Diablo came into play, and, well, we were fans of the infamous Fireball, due to its inexpensiveness. Plus, for a shot choice, it went down easy. And that was vital to how we played Diablo.

To add further context, we were also on a Sunday Funday volleyball league. We were awful, and what contributed to that was the amount of Fireball we’d drink because of this game before heading off to our match.

1526643_3031369265424_8897248491827978583_n

Actual photo of us drunk at our volleyball game.

So, with way too much story now and not enough drinking, here is the game…

The Equipment Drop Shot

Whatever the rarest weapon type/color that drops for the area you’re in drops, everyone takes a shot.

“Wait, we just had three orange drop off of that boss, so just on…” No, take three shots.

I recommend a shot that you don’t mind having a lot of. Due to the rarity of such drops (sometimes), it really needs to be a shot of something. And it makes things much more exciting when it happens.

Diablo Rare Drop Drinking Game

Well, fuck.

Super Mario Bros. 3 Drinking Game

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Wii, Wii U, 3DS…I don’t know, probably fucking anything.


Super Mario Bros. 3, one of everyone’s favorite retro games, is the ultimate classic. It built upon its predecessors’ success and perfected the formula for the NES era. With its array of fresh drug-inspired power-ups, Mario could hop and fly his way to victory. And then slaughter Bowser, once again.

kill bowser

This… might explain a few things.

I’m including two separate games. One for each single and multiplayer with some overlap. I’m going to warn you, if you follow the exact rules, especially for the multiplayer game, you’re going to be fucked real hard. So, hopefully, that’s what you’re looking for! If not, just dial the drinks back a bit. The shots, too. And don’t suck.

Enjoy!

Single Player

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Guess the Mushroom House Prize – Take 5 if Wrong

Don’t Match Any Cards – 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – 3
  • Flower – 1
  • Star – 0

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – 0
  • 2 of the Same – 5
  • None of the Same – 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

hammer bros drinking game

Funny that the Hammer Bros. are the ones making you take shots..

Multiplayer

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Bet on the Mushroom House Prize:

  • Correct – Give 5
  • Wrong – Take 2

Succeed at Matching Any Cards – Give 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – Give 1
  • Flower – Give 3
  • Star – Give 5

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – Give a Shot
  • 2 of the Same – Give 5
  • None of the Same – Take a Shot

Battle Mode – Loser Takes 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

Crusader Kings 2 Drinking Game

Players: 1-16

PC


Crusader Kings II is a game of intrigue, espionage, politics, and of course, death. In a world where everyone is plotting or resting in a plot, what doesn’t kill you will probably kill you later.

murderplot

Drinking and plotting to kill each other is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon with your closest friends. Being such a complex game, feel free to add or alter any drinking occasions as you see fit.

Happy New Year!

Celebrate each passing year with a quick social drink. This will get more useful the drunker you get, because it will remind you how quickly time is passing.

You Arrange a Marriage!

Both people are outside your nuclear family:

Congratulations to the happy (or whatever) newly weds! Take a drink.

Marrying off your child:

Congratulations, Pops/Mama! Take a drink if they married above their status; Two drinks if they married their equal; and take a shot if you married your child to someone unworthy, you piece of shit.

Marrying yourself:

Good job! Take a drink for every living member of your nuclear family (Parents, siblings, children) because they’re toasting you at your wedding. All other players should also take a drink with you.

You Get Sick or Injured!

Each time you choose (or are forced into) any type of treatment, take a drink. Alcohol is great medicine.

You Succeed in a Plot to Have Someone Killed!

Woohoo! That bastard probably had it coming. Take a drink and hope that your beverage hasn’t been laced with revenge.

Was it one of your superiors?

Give out a shot just to remind everyone what a badass you are. (take a shot instead if you’re playing solo, or you’re trying to keep your murder secret)

You Die!

Take a shot and hope that your heir isn’t a fault-ridden adolescent.

Were you murdered?

Take an extra shot and be more careful next time.

Did you plot your own murder?

Wow. Everyone else takes a shot.

You Acquire New Land!

Give or take a drink for each new territory, and a drink for each new vassal.

You Go to War!

Take a drink with your foe.

Did you start the war?

Give an extra 2 drinks to the player of your choice.

Surrendered?

Take a shot, you coward.

Victorious?

Give 3 drinks to anyone, and tell them to acknowledge your greatness.

You Lost the Game!

Your lineage has met its end. Have you left a meaningful mark on the world’s history? Probably not. Better take a shot and start over.

Who’s Your Daddy? Drinking Game

Players: 2-4

PC


Who’s Your Daddy is one of those games that you want to play the moment someone explains the concept. In a standard game, there are two players: Daddy and Baby. The game plays as a struggle between the two to meet their individual goals.

Daddy’s Goal: Keep Baby alive.

Baby’s Goal: Die.

There is an exceptional number of opportunities for Baby to terminate its sad existence (drink bleach, bake itself in the oven, drown in the pool, and power outlets to electrocute oneself), but plenty of ways for Daddy to thwart his child’s suicidal efforts. There are caps for the outlets, shelves to put things out of reach, locks, and much more.

daddypic

Will this heat make my balls drop faster?

Turning the game into a drinking game is quite easy, and feels pretty natural given the somewhat dark humor behind the game. Each round is fairly short, so a wager game is your best option.

We’ve found that Baby nearly always has the advantage, so if that stays true through updates to the game, you can do the wagering as follows.

2 Players:

At the beginning of the round, Daddy makes a bet of X drinks and then drinks them. At the conclusion of the round, the loser drinks twice Daddy’s bet. Switch Daddy each round unless one of you wants to be incredibly drunk.

Optional rule: Each time Daddy makes something “safe,” Baby takes a drink.

3-4 Players:

Playing with more than two people? Try “Daddy’s Nightmare,” which pits Daddy against three babies with a patricidal goal. Same wager rules as before except that this time if Daddy wins (by turning on the power before his children murder him) he passes out the double drinks between the other players. If the babies win (by killing their pops,) poor Dad must drink alone.

babypic