Players: 2-12

Any Nintendo Console

If you grew up with Mario Kart, and you’re now a “mature” adult, there’s a good chance you’ve already played a version of the Drunk Driver game. Besides the fact most people know it, the site wouldn’t feel complete without our own rendition. I’ve compiled a couple of different versions to create my favorite ruleset, with input from @IndieVideoGames and others!

Everyone leaving the strip club drunk at one time.

The Game

The rules are pretty simple. They go as follows…

• Have a full beer ready at the beginning of the race.
• Your beer must be finished before you finish the race.
• You must come to a stop to drink your beer.
• Whatever your placement ends up being at the end of the race, take that many additional drinks.
• If you finish the race before your beer, you must take a shot.

It is a brutal drinking game. We usually only make it a couple of rounds to either start or finish the night. I definitely suggest a light beer for this, but to each their own.

Have fun with this guy.

Players: 2-?

PC

Starbound is everything a two-dimensional sandbox RPG should be. There are many different parts of the game, so pinning down just one drinking game as a “one game fits all” solution is basically impossible. Since there are three difficulty options, I present you with three options of drunkenness.

Campaign

If you’re playing through the story line, start here.

I stole five manipulator modules during this quest, and my reward is one manipulator module? Esther, what kind of sham are you running here?

Look, you know as well as I do that Esther is just using you to run her galactic errands. The help she offers is a lot of information, but not helpful information like the coordinates of a planet with a known Apex village. For someone with all the secrets of the artifacts, she knows surprisingly little about the species that have them. Broaden your horizons a bit, Esther. The galaxy is multicultural.

Picking up a new quest: Drink 1
Turning in a completed quest: Drink 1
— If the quest you completed is for Esther: Drink 2
Opening a reward bag: Drink 1
Die: Take a Shot
Hire/Add a new crew member: Drink 1
Upgrade your ship: Drink 1

Colonizer

If you’re really into realty and property management, this is your game.

So I build a house and then scare the shit out of some guy? Got it.

So, if you’re the mayor of 50 planets (or you want to be), you’ve probably already completed the main quest line. Life as a landlord can be exciting and challenging (via colonies in extreme climates), or it can be dull and moderately lucrative (via colonies in safer neighborhoods…like your spaceship.) Whichever way you choose to play, you can always make it more fun with alcohol.

Putting up a new deed: Drink 1
Putting up a deed in your ship: Drink 3
Collecting rent: Drink 1
Completing a quest for a resident: Drink 1
Die: Take a Shot
Hire/Add a new crew member: Drink 1
Hire a resident as a crew member: Drink 3
Upgrade your ship: Drink 1

Multiplayer

For those who want PvP rules, this is your chance to challenge your friends.

That feeling you get when you’re playing with someone who can’t even figure out their keybindings.

This game wasn’t necessarily designed for player vs. player combat, but it can still be quite entertaining. Obviously, being similarly equipped is important unless one of you is exceptionally terrible.

The person who gets the first kill chooses a set number of drinks (we’ll say 3 as an example) and drinks them. The person who was killed respawns and the game resumes. The next person to die drinks twice that amount (in this case 6.) They can then choose to keep the “bet” at 3, change it to 6 (so that the next death would mean drinking 12,) or take additional drinks to raise the bet even more.

When you decide that the drinking number has gotten out of hand, pull out an instrument and start playing Canon in D. If someone else is playing the song and you agree to a reset, pull out an instrument and join in. If someone else is playing and you disagree, kill them for being a wimp and drink the entire current punishment with them.

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Nintendo Classic Mini, emulator

You know how this starts…  ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start. That’s two shots straight “up,” then “down” ’em both. Look left, look right, look left, look right. Binge And Start.

Seriously, though, if you’re as bad at this game as 7-year old me, that code is life.

This game is pretty simple and will work with the original Contra as well as Super Contra.

1 Player

Simple Rules

Take a drink every time you lose a medal, take a shot every time you make it to the next level. Reverse these if you’re really good at the game.

“Realistic Reload” Mode

If you’re looking for a way to bring modern day mechanics to a world of infinite bullets, take a drink between every burst of 6 bullets. Not only will this get you drinking more quickly, it may just change the way you play the game.

2 Players

Simple Rules

Same as above, but at the end of each stage, take a drink for each of the medals your comrade has left.

“Realistic Reload” Mode

Same as above, but shout “reloading” like a douche bag before every designated drink.