Downwell Drinking Game

Players: 2

PS4, PS Vita, Mobile, PC


Downwell is a simple and addicting retro-style game available for free on PSN for Playstation Plus subscribers in the month of August (2017)! Basically, you jump down a well and kill things as you advance farther and farther downward. You’ll die. A lot. I crafted the game for two people. There’s not enough content to really go at it by yourself, unless you’re just looking to wreck yourself, but it makes for a great back and forth drinking game.

Downwell screen drinking game

I don’t know who this is. I never made it that far. I’m really bad at the game.

The Rules

The Person Playing…

  • Take 10 if You Die

The Other Person…

  • Takes 5 if You Pass a Stage
  • Takes 10 or a Shot if You Pass an Entire Level

Social x 5…

  • If You Unlock a New Palette or Style
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Nintendo Land Drinking Games

Players: 2-5

Wii U


A game that was largely conceived to show off the gamepad capabilities of the Wii U for its launch, Nintendo Land is one of my favorite titles for the system. I mean, it’s a party game, so you know it’s right up our alley. There are so many different games included, some with surprising depth. The drinking game is good for any player range, so grab as many people as you like, or drink alone. Mario Chase and Luigi’s Ghost Mansion are probably my favorites, but there’s something here for everything. Enjoy!

Coin Drop

Nintendo Land Coin Drop Drinking Game

If it takes you all 457 coins you have to drink a handle of Captain Morgan.

Take a drink for as many coins as you dropped to clear the stage. The other players can keep count for you.

Mario Chase

If Mario wins, everyone else takes 5 drinks.

If Mario is caught, his player takes a shot.

 

Luigi’s Ghost Mansion

If you’re captured, take 5 drinks.

If you die as the ghost, take a shot.

 

Animal Crossing: Sweet Days

If you are caught, take 7 drinks.

If they collect all pieces, utensils person takes a shot.

 

Captain Falcon’s Twister Race

For each zone passed by the player, others in the room take a drink for each second they had left on the clock.

If the player does not make it to the first checkpoint or dies by falling off or crashing at ANY point, they take a shot.

 

Zelda Battle Quest

Give 3 for every heart you have left at the end.

Take 3 for every heart lost on the end-of-level report.

Take a shot if you die.

 

Balloon Trip Breeze

For every 10 points you get, give out 1 drink

Land on the Second Place Platform: Give 5 Drinks

Land on the First Place Platform: Give 10 Drinks

 

Yoshi’s Fruit Cart

Take 5 drinks every time you fail.

Give out 1 drink for every 50 points you collect over your reign.

 

Octopus Dance

Give out 1 drink for every blue medal.

Give out 3 drinks for every gold medal.

 

Donkey Kong Crash Course

Take 2 drinks every time you die.

For every checkpoint you pass, everyone else takes 3 drinks.

If someone makes it to the end of the first board, everyone else takes a shot.

 

Pikmin Adventure

The losing player takes drinks for the difference in points (divide by 2 if over 20)

Winning side takes an additional 5 drinks if they were KO’d during the match.

 

Ninja Castle

Take a drink for every missed ninja at the end of the round.

 

Metroid Blast (Assualt Mission)

For every 5 hits you achieved give out 2 drinks.

For every point of damage you received take 2 drinks.

If you died take a shot.

Tomb Raider (2013) Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, PS4, 360


I’ll admit, I never touched a Tomb Raider game until this one, but my girlfriend enjoyed the series back in its heyday. The definitive edition was available on the PlayStation store for $5, so it seemed like an easy purchase. Of course, we’d sit down and immediately make a drinking game for it.

wet lara croft tomb raider

I didn’t even know there’d be clips like this before buying.

We found ourselves highly entertained with the game we conjured up, especially on some of the more ridiculous rules (we definitely made it a shot for when THE Tomb Raider says she hates raiding tombs). It’s technically a single player rule set, but I do suggest it with a friend. It’s easy to pick up at any spot, and the only variation to the rules is you only drink for your own deaths.

I would imagine most of the rules apply to Rise of the Tomb Raider, as well, but I can’t be 100% sure on that. It could also apply to the older games… but probably not well.

lara croft evolution timeline

Just, uh, take your pick.

The Game

Lara Curses – 1

You Fall (Any Fall) – 1

Particularly Long CS – 1

Lara Says “Sam” – 2

Someone Grabs You – 2

Perform a Finishing Move – 2

You See a Dismantled Airplane / Helicopter – 2

Find a New Weapon / Upgrade – 2

Find a Voice Log – 3

You Die – 3

A Friend Dies (Story) – Shot

Lara Says She Hates Raiding Tombs – Shot

 

Super Mario Bros. 3 Drinking Game

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Wii, Wii U, 3DS…I don’t know, probably fucking anything.


Super Mario Bros. 3, one of everyone’s favorite retro games, is the ultimate classic. It built upon its predecessors’ success and perfected the formula for the NES era. With its array of fresh drug-inspired power-ups, Mario could hop and fly his way to victory. And then slaughter Bowser, once again.

kill bowser

This… might explain a few things.

I’m including two separate games. One for each single and multiplayer with some overlap. I’m going to warn you, if you follow the exact rules, especially for the multiplayer game, you’re going to be fucked real hard. So, hopefully, that’s what you’re looking for! If not, just dial the drinks back a bit. The shots, too. And don’t suck.

Enjoy!

Single Player

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Guess the Mushroom House Prize – Take 5 if Wrong

Don’t Match Any Cards – 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – 3
  • Flower – 1
  • Star – 0

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – 0
  • 2 of the Same – 5
  • None of the Same – 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

hammer bros drinking game

Funny that the Hammer Bros. are the ones making you take shots..

Multiplayer

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Bet on the Mushroom House Prize:

  • Correct – Give 5
  • Wrong – Take 2

Succeed at Matching Any Cards – Give 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – Give 1
  • Flower – Give 3
  • Star – Give 5

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – Give a Shot
  • 2 of the Same – Give 5
  • None of the Same – Take a Shot

Battle Mode – Loser Takes 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

Animal Crossing: New Leaf Drinking Game

Players: 2-4

3DS


Looking for a way to play a drinking game with your friend who lives in Shanghai and owns a 3DS? Great! You’ve come to the very specific, perfect place.

Animal Crossing is a great game to play alone while you’re lying in bed questioning your life choices, waiting for sleep to come… but it can also be a great game to play with friends, while questioning your life choices and getting liver-destroyingly drunk.

There are a lot of ways you could turn multiplayer AC:NL into a drinking game, but the easiest way is the island mini-games. While you’re earning relatively useless tokens, you can dish out not-so-useless drinks and shots! The mini-games are all between 3 and 10 minutes each, so you can decide based on how quickly you want to get smashed.

acnl

Too bad you’re all gonna die out here.

The Rules of the Game

Rules of the game are simple. You each take as many drinks as the team earns tokens from Tortimer. If one player is awarded more tokens than the others, the additional tokens become shots that player can give out to the other players as they see fit.

Play until the screen on your 3DS becomes a hazy blur and using the joystick feels like trying to thread a needle while riding a bull.

Gulliver Passed Out Animal Crossing Drunk

You fucking drunk, Gulliver.

Limbo Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PS3, PS4, Wii U, Xbox 360, Mobile, PC


Limbo is one of my favorite Indie Games of all time. It’s creepy as hell, all while delivering a truly interesting puzzle platforming experience. The best part of it, though, is all of the wonderful ways you can die. And you die pretty consistently. You can be dismembered, smashed, drowned – you can see where this is going.

limbo screenshot

Death by zipline is my preference.

So, you can certainly play this game alone, but I’d say it’s definitely better with friends so you can start yelling at each other. I’m actually stealing a bit of the strategy from our Flappy Bird game, but I’m tweaking it to make sense for this one. It has the possibility to get brutal, so I hope you’re ready to forget the rest of your evening (or morning, no judgement).

drunk in the morning

Round two begins in 45, troops.

The Rules

As I mentioned before, you die a lot in Limbo. A stupid amount. Bunches. So…

Take a drink if you die, and pass the controller.*

That’s not so bad, right?

* – If any previous player has already died in this spot, increase death drinks by 1.

Oh.

So, to spell it out a bit, if you die in the same spot as your best friend Larry, you now have to take 2 drinks every time you die. If this happens again, it’s 3 drinks, and so on and so forth. And this applies to everyone’s death drinks. So, even if Tiny Tim is the one that keeps dying in the repeat spots, you still have to up your death drinks.

I like that term. Death drinks. I think I’ll save it for my inevitable Dark Souls game. Tiny Tim will probably screw you over in that one, too. Fuck Tiny Tim.

drunk tiny tim

More whiskey, Scrooge.

I’m really interested to see if anyone finishes the game by these rules. It’s not impossible, but you’ll probably have to have played it a few times before and generally just be good at it.

So, if you do happen to be playing with an asshole that is really good at the game, here are a few additional rules to help keep some of the beer flowing:

Drink for…

  • Spider / monster appearance
  • Another human on screen, dead / alive
  • Something startles you
  • Something alters your character’s abilities / movement
  • A shot for a sighting of your sister

Extreme Mode

Up the death drinks for every time anyone dies.

Have fun. Don’t die yourself.