Stardew Valley Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PC

MINOR SPOILERS IN THE SCREENSHOTS


Co-op beta has begun, and you know we’re playing it. I thought long and hard (not really) about how to get as drunk as Shane playing Stardew Valley together or solo. The stories in this game are so well written and engaging, it seems shameful to potentially forget them in an inebriated state… but that’s what we’re here to do. At least some of our neighbors would probably approve (I’m looking at you, Pam and Shane.)

Have a cold one with Shane

Me every night after work.

The Rules

Drink 1:

At the start of each sunny day

When you sell items to a shop (1 per item stack)

When you harvest, collect, fish or forage a purple star quality item

When you mine any of the following: Iridium (1 per drop), Diamond, any Geode

When you acquire a new friendship heart with someone

When you find something other than trash in a trash can

When you buy a ticket to go to The Desert

When you give someone a gift on their birthday

When you donate an item to the museum

When a neighbor sends you an item or recipe in the mail

When you complete a daily quest

Multiple Drinks:

2 drinks – At the start of each rainy day

3 drinks – When you enter a cutscene

3 drinks – When you complete a long-term quest

1 drink per $1000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day up to $9,000
1 shot per $10,000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day

3 drinks – When you drink an alcoholic beverage in game (drinks in cutscenes included)

3 drinks – When a train passes through Stardew Valley

3 drinks – When you give someone a gift they hate

5 drinks or a shot – When you attend a seasonal/holiday event

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet

When you give a mermaid pendant

When “an explosion is heard during the night”

When you pass out from exhaustion (whether from low energy or from being awake too late)

When you access a new area of the game for the first time

When someone catches you looking in a trash can

I just want everyone to have a good time

Me too, Emily, but my idea was to get everybody hammered.

 

Additional Rules for Co-op:

Drink 1:

When you walk through each other

When you both/all work on the same tile (mining, farming, fishing, etc)

When you gain a new heart with a player character

Drink 3:

When you get pulled into someone else’s cutscene from afar

When you sleep in the same bed

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet to a player character, or when you receive one

Take 2 Shots:

When you marry another player character. Cheers, losers.

Be more social

 

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Fortnite Drinking Game

Players: 1-99

PS4, Xbox One, iOS, PC 


In honor of our return to the business of pretending-to-have-a-productive-reason-for-drinking, we’re throwing a couple of big title games your way. There’s nothing much bigger than Fortnite right now, which I do quite enjoy, but I’m surprised it’s still going. And the other big title for the month is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, so make sure to check that out!

Fortnite Battle Royale Glider Girl

Me gliding away from all of my problems to my living room couch to play more Fortnite.

To clarify, we’re only doing a game for the Battle Royale mode. I’m sure that doesn’t really surprise anyone, but I wanted to clarify. I’ve never paid money for the actual game… or know anyone that has. Anyway, to the goods!

I have a special Death Game to provide the basis for the drinking involved, and then I also have standard rules set up for specific events.


The Death Game

The rules for this are simple:

  • For every 5 people remaining when you die, you drink 1.
    • This is a potential 20 drink hit if you die immediately.

There’s a catch, though.

  • Once you are under 50 remaining players, this number actually now applies to your friends watching or playing alongside you, but in the opposite direction.

So, if you survive to the 30th spot, your friends drink the equivalent of placement 70, which is 14 drinks, thus your incentive for survival is extra high in this game. All other players required to take a shot if you win (does not apply to fellow teammates that survived the round).

I know you guys are thrilled to try it out.

Fornite unicorn harvest tool rainbow

It truly is a strange, magical place.

The Basics

  • Jumping from the Plane – Social
  • Ammo Box – 2
  • Chest – 3
  • Gnome – 5
  • Orange/Legendary Weapon Found – 10
  • Llama – 15
  • Kill Someone – Everyone Else Drinks 5
  • Finish a Season Goal – Amount of Stars You Earn
  • Someone Dances on you after you Die – *Extra Death Shot*

Who’s Your Daddy? Drinking Game

Players: 2-4

PC


Who’s Your Daddy is one of those games that you want to play the moment someone explains the concept. In a standard game, there are two players: Daddy and Baby. The game plays as a struggle between the two to meet their individual goals.

Daddy’s Goal: Keep Baby alive.

Baby’s Goal: Die.

There is an exceptional number of opportunities for Baby to terminate its sad existence (drink bleach, bake itself in the oven, drown in the pool, and power outlets to electrocute oneself), but plenty of ways for Daddy to thwart his child’s suicidal efforts. There are caps for the outlets, shelves to put things out of reach, locks, and much more.

daddypic

Will this heat make my balls drop faster?

Turning the game into a drinking game is quite easy, and feels pretty natural given the somewhat dark humor behind the game. Each round is fairly short, so a wager game is your best option.

We’ve found that Baby nearly always has the advantage, so if that stays true through updates to the game, you can do the wagering as follows.

2 Players:

At the beginning of the round, Daddy makes a bet of X drinks and then drinks them. At the conclusion of the round, the loser drinks twice Daddy’s bet. Switch Daddy each round unless one of you wants to be incredibly drunk.

Optional rule: Each time Daddy makes something “safe,” Baby takes a drink.

3-4 Players:

Playing with more than two people? Try “Daddy’s Nightmare,” which pits Daddy against three babies with a patricidal goal. Same wager rules as before except that this time if Daddy wins (by turning on the power before his children murder him) he passes out the double drinks between the other players. If the babies win (by killing their pops,) poor Dad must drink alone.

babypic

Titan Quest Drinking Game

Players: 1-6

PC, Mobile


Titan Quest is an older action RPG on the PC. In fact, it’s been 10 years since its initial release, but the developers have come back to this one and done some remodeling. So this is to celebrate that. Resembling Diablo in many ways, the game mostly revolves around creating a killing machine to sweep through the game. Given that, the drinking game will mainly revolve around killing, quests, and items. It’s a simple but effective game.

I haven’t played the most up to date version of the game, but the rules should be similar. Multiplayer mode can also focus more on kills and item drops to make communication easier. It also helps match the pace a bit better that way.

titan quest gameplay

I didn’t realize this was going to be a nudist party.

Accept a Quest – Drink 2

Quest Updates – Drink 1

Complete Quest – Drink 5

Beat a Regular Boss – Drink 5

Beat a Titan – Drink 10

Level Up – Drink 5

Notified You’re Out of Room – Drink 2

Legendary/Epic Item Drops (whichever is respectively the “rare” type at your level of progression) – Shot

Death – Shot

titan quest inventory screen

This seems like the ideal time to check my inventory.

This game is best played with quick shot items. We use the same strategy for Diablo III by using Fireball, and it’s great to do right before going to your weekly volleyball game. Get wrecked.