Diablo III Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PS3, PS4, PC, 360, Xbox One


So, this is a very basic drinking game, but it’s also very close to my heart…

A bunch of us used to live together in a three-story home that we rented in a not-so-wonderful area of St. Louis (it helped bring us all closer together…sorta). We all worked for the same company, and they didn’t have hours on Sundays. This meant that every Saturday night and all of Sunday we’d basically be partying. This is where Diablo came into play, and, well, we were fans of the infamous Fireball, due to its inexpensiveness. Plus, for a shot choice, it went down easy. And that was vital to how we played Diablo.

To add further context, we were also on a Sunday Funday volleyball league. We were awful, and what contributed to that was the amount of Fireball we’d drink because of this game before heading off to our match.

1526643_3031369265424_8897248491827978583_n

Actual photo of us drunk at our volleyball game.

So, with way too much story now and not enough drinking, here is the game…

The Equipment Drop Shot

Whatever the rarest weapon type/color that drops for the area you’re in drops, everyone takes a shot.

“Wait, we just had three orange drop off of that boss, so just on…” No, take three shots.

I recommend a shot that you don’t mind having a lot of. Due to the rarity of such drops (sometimes), it really needs to be a shot of something. And it makes things much more exciting when it happens.

Diablo Rare Drop Drinking Game

Well, fuck.

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Mario Kart – Drunk Driver

Players: 2-12

Any Nintendo Console


If you grew up with Mario Kart, and you’re now a “mature” adult, there’s a good chance you’ve already played a version of the Drunk Driver game. Besides the fact most people know it, the site wouldn’t feel complete without our own rendition. I’ve compiled a couple of different versions to create my favorite ruleset, with input from @IndieVideoGames and others!

Mario Kart 101 players drinking game

Everyone leaving the strip club drunk at one time.

The Game

The rules are pretty simple. They go as follows…

  • Have a full beer ready at the beginning of the race.
  • Your beer must be finished before you finish the race.
  • You must come to a stop to drink your beer.
  • Whatever your placement ends up being at the end of the race, take that many additional drinks.
  • If you finish the race before your beer, you must take a shot.

It is a brutal drinking game. We usually only make it a couple of rounds to either start or finish the night. I definitely suggest a light beer for this, but to each their own.

drunk mario kart drinking driver

Have fun with this guy.

Evoland Drinking Game

Players: 1

PC, Mobile


Evoland is an interesting Action RPG adventure that evolves as you play it. The game is on the short side, and there are points where you might end up dying constantly with possible rage quit… so it’s a perfect single player drinking game!

evoland bonus heart link zelda

I never found this. And it would have really fucking helped.

I beat the game with only two sessions lasting about five hours total. I hear the second one is longer, but who knows. Some of the same rules might apply? Let me know if you venture there. For now, enjoy the game below!

1 Drink

Obtain a New Mechanic

New Piece of Equipment

Find Item in Furniture

Any Character Gains a Level

Other Game References

Change The Time

For Each Person That Sends You to Another Person in a Quest Line

2 Drinks

Get a Star

Fall

Miss The Enemy in Turn-Based Combat

3 Drinks

Death in Zelda / Diablo Mode

New Graphic Upgrade

5 Drinks

New Battle Mechanics

Name a New Character

Achievement Unlock

Shots & Misc.

Blow Yourself Up (And Die) – Shot

Someone In The Story Dies – Shot

You Lose at “Cards” – Drink Difference in Points x2

evoland final boss drinking

Get ready to die to this guy a few times. He just loves to hug.

Starbound Drinking Game

Players: 2-?

PC


Starbound is everything a two-dimensional sandbox RPG should be. There are many different parts of the game, so pinning down just one drinking game as a “one game fits all” solution is basically impossible. Since there are three difficulty options, I present you with three options of drunkenness.

Campaign

If you’re playing through the story line, start here.

Esther

I stole five manipulator modules during this quest, and my reward is one manipulator module? Esther, what kind of sham are you running here?

Look, you know as well as I do that Esther is just using you to run her galactic errands. The help she offers is a lot of information, but not helpful information like the coordinates of a planet with a known Apex village. For someone with all the secrets of the artifacts, she knows surprisingly little about the species that have them. Broaden your horizons a bit, Esther. The galaxy is multicultural.

Picking up a new quest: Drink 1
Turning in a completed quest: Drink 1
— If the quest you completed is for Esther: Drink 2
Opening a reward bag: Drink 1
Die: Take a Shot
Hire/Add a new crew member: Drink 1
Upgrade your ship: Drink 1

Colonizer

If you’re really into realty and property management, this is your game.

Tenant Quests

So I build a house and then scare the shit out of some guy? Got it.

So, if you’re the mayor of 50 planets (or you want to be), you’ve probably already completed the main quest line. Life as a landlord can be exciting and challenging (via colonies in extreme climates), or it can be dull and moderately lucrative (via colonies in safer neighborhoods…like your spaceship.) Whichever way you choose to play, you can always make it more fun with alcohol.

Putting up a new deed: Drink 1
Putting up a deed in your ship: Drink 3
Collecting rent: Drink 1
Completing a quest for a resident: Drink 1
Die: Take a Shot
Hire/Add a new crew member: Drink 1
Hire a resident as a crew member: Drink 3
Upgrade your ship: Drink 1

Multiplayer

For those who want PvP rules, this is your chance to challenge your friends.

Esther

That feeling you get when you’re playing with someone who can’t even figure out their keybindings.

This game wasn’t necessarily designed for player vs. player combat, but it can still be quite entertaining. Obviously, being similarly equipped is important unless one of you is exceptionally terrible.

The person who gets the first kill chooses a set number of drinks (we’ll say 3 as an example) and drinks them. The person who was killed respawns and the game resumes. The next person to die drinks twice that amount (in this case 6.) They can then choose to keep the “bet” at 3, change it to 6 (so that the next death would mean drinking 12,) or take additional drinks to raise the bet even more.

When you decide that the drinking number has gotten out of hand, pull out an instrument and start playing Canon in D. If someone else is playing the song and you agree to a reset, pull out an instrument and join in. If someone else is playing and you disagree, kill them for being a wimp and drink the entire current punishment with them.

Tomb Raider (2013) Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, PS4, 360


I’ll admit, I never touched a Tomb Raider game until this one, but my girlfriend enjoyed the series back in its heyday. The definitive edition was available on the PlayStation store for $5, so it seemed like an easy purchase. Of course, we’d sit down and immediately make a drinking game for it.

wet lara croft tomb raider

I didn’t even know there’d be clips like this before buying.

We found ourselves highly entertained with the game we conjured up, especially on some of the more ridiculous rules (we definitely made it a shot for when THE Tomb Raider says she hates raiding tombs). It’s technically a single player rule set, but I do suggest it with a friend. It’s easy to pick up at any spot, and the only variation to the rules is you only drink for your own deaths.

I would imagine most of the rules apply to Rise of the Tomb Raider, as well, but I can’t be 100% sure on that. It could also apply to the older games… but probably not well.

lara croft evolution timeline

Just, uh, take your pick.

The Game

Lara Curses – 1

You Fall (Any Fall) – 1

Particularly Long CS – 1

Lara Says “Sam” – 2

Someone Grabs You – 2

Perform a Finishing Move – 2

You See a Dismantled Airplane / Helicopter – 2

Find a New Weapon / Upgrade – 2

Find a Voice Log – 3

You Die – 3

A Friend Dies (Story) – Shot

Lara Says She Hates Raiding Tombs – Shot

 

Super Mario Bros. 3 Drinking Game

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Wii, Wii U, 3DS…I don’t know, probably fucking anything.


Super Mario Bros. 3, one of everyone’s favorite retro games, is the ultimate classic. It built upon its predecessors’ success and perfected the formula for the NES era. With its array of fresh drug-inspired power-ups, Mario could hop and fly his way to victory. And then slaughter Bowser, once again.

kill bowser

This… might explain a few things.

I’m including two separate games. One for each single and multiplayer with some overlap. I’m going to warn you, if you follow the exact rules, especially for the multiplayer game, you’re going to be fucked real hard. So, hopefully, that’s what you’re looking for! If not, just dial the drinks back a bit. The shots, too. And don’t suck.

Enjoy!

Single Player

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Guess the Mushroom House Prize – Take 5 if Wrong

Don’t Match Any Cards – 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – 3
  • Flower – 1
  • Star – 0

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – 0
  • 2 of the Same – 5
  • None of the Same – 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

hammer bros drinking game

Funny that the Hammer Bros. are the ones making you take shots..

Multiplayer

Death by Enemy – 3

Death by Missed Jump – 5

Death by Screen – 7

Death by Hammer Bro – 10 or Shot

Death by Time – Shot

Bet on the Mushroom House Prize:

  • Correct – Give 5
  • Wrong – Take 2

Succeed at Matching Any Cards – Give 5

Mess Up the Match Three Picture – 5

End Level Box:

  • Mushroom – Give 1
  • Flower – Give 3
  • Star – Give 5

End Level Box Collection:

  • 3 of the Same – Give a Shot
  • 2 of the Same – Give 5
  • None of the Same – Take a Shot

Battle Mode – Loser Takes 10

Game Over – 10

Game Over On Castle – Shot

Crusader Kings 2 Drinking Game

Players: 1-16

PC


Crusader Kings II is a game of intrigue, espionage, politics, and of course, death. In a world where everyone is plotting or resting in a plot, what doesn’t kill you will probably kill you later.

murderplot

Drinking and plotting to kill each other is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon with your closest friends. Being such a complex game, feel free to add or alter any drinking occasions as you see fit.

Happy New Year!

Celebrate each passing year with a quick social drink. This will get more useful the drunker you get, because it will remind you how quickly time is passing.

You Arrange a Marriage!

Both people are outside your nuclear family:

Congratulations to the happy (or whatever) newly weds! Take a drink.

Marrying off your child:

Congratulations, Pops/Mama! Take a drink if they married above their status; Two drinks if they married their equal; and take a shot if you married your child to someone unworthy, you piece of shit.

Marrying yourself:

Good job! Take a drink for every living member of your nuclear family (Parents, siblings, children) because they’re toasting you at your wedding. All other players should also take a drink with you.

You Get Sick or Injured!

Each time you choose (or are forced into) any type of treatment, take a drink. Alcohol is great medicine.

You Succeed in a Plot to Have Someone Killed!

Woohoo! That bastard probably had it coming. Take a drink and hope that your beverage hasn’t been laced with revenge.

Was it one of your superiors?

Give out a shot just to remind everyone what a badass you are. (take a shot instead if you’re playing solo, or you’re trying to keep your murder secret)

You Die!

Take a shot and hope that your heir isn’t a fault-ridden adolescent.

Were you murdered?

Take an extra shot and be more careful next time.

Did you plot your own murder?

Wow. Everyone else takes a shot.

You Acquire New Land!

Give or take a drink for each new territory, and a drink for each new vassal.

You Go to War!

Take a drink with your foe.

Did you start the war?

Give an extra 2 drinks to the player of your choice.

Surrendered?

Take a shot, you coward.

Victorious?

Give 3 drinks to anyone, and tell them to acknowledge your greatness.

You Lost the Game!

Your lineage has met its end. Have you left a meaningful mark on the world’s history? Probably not. Better take a shot and start over.

Super Contra Drinking Game

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Nintendo Classic Mini, emulator


You know how this starts…  ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start. That’s two shots straight “up,” then “down” ’em both. Look left, look right, look left, look right. Binge And Start.

Seriously, though, if you’re as bad at this game as 7-year old me, that code is life.

This game is pretty simple and will work with the original Contra as well as Super Contra.

NES Update Meme

1 Player

Simple Rules

Take a drink every time you lose a medal, take a shot every time you make it to the next level. Reverse these if you’re really good at the game.

“Realistic Reload” Mode

If you’re looking for a way to bring modern day mechanics to a world of infinite bullets, take a drink between every burst of 6 bullets. Not only will this get you drinking more quickly, it may just change the way you play the game.

2 Players

Simple Rules

Same as above, but at the end of each stage, take a drink for each of the medals your comrade has left.

“Realistic Reload” Mode

Same as above, but shout “reloading” like a douche bag before every designated drink.

Who’s Your Daddy? Drinking Game

Players: 2-4

PC


Who’s Your Daddy is one of those games that you want to play the moment someone explains the concept. In a standard game, there are two players: Daddy and Baby. The game plays as a struggle between the two to meet their individual goals.

Daddy’s Goal: Keep Baby alive.

Baby’s Goal: Die.

There is an exceptional number of opportunities for Baby to terminate its sad existence (drink bleach, bake itself in the oven, drown in the pool, and power outlets to electrocute oneself), but plenty of ways for Daddy to thwart his child’s suicidal efforts. There are caps for the outlets, shelves to put things out of reach, locks, and much more.

daddypic

Will this heat make my balls drop faster?

Turning the game into a drinking game is quite easy, and feels pretty natural given the somewhat dark humor behind the game. Each round is fairly short, so a wager game is your best option.

We’ve found that Baby nearly always has the advantage, so if that stays true through updates to the game, you can do the wagering as follows.

2 Players:

At the beginning of the round, Daddy makes a bet of X drinks and then drinks them. At the conclusion of the round, the loser drinks twice Daddy’s bet. Switch Daddy each round unless one of you wants to be incredibly drunk.

Optional rule: Each time Daddy makes something “safe,” Baby takes a drink.

3-4 Players:

Playing with more than two people? Try “Daddy’s Nightmare,” which pits Daddy against three babies with a patricidal goal. Same wager rules as before except that this time if Daddy wins (by turning on the power before his children murder him) he passes out the double drinks between the other players. If the babies win (by killing their pops,) poor Dad must drink alone.

babypic

Final Fantasy XV Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS4, Xbox One


I waited 10 fucking years for this game. Announced way back in 2006, the title was supposed to launch alongside Final Fantasy XIII as Final Fantasy Versus XIII, and everyone wanted it so bad. Like, boycotting Square Enix and not supporting them until it released bad. That’s mainly because FFXIII was such a letdown with too much linearity and an uninteresting story, though I do enjoy the battle system once you get closer to the end of the game. Anyways, if you’re playing FFXV now then you probably know all of that. You’re welcome for my useless rambling.

Moving on. I love the game. It might have some flawed areas, and it’s a bit of a mess. But it’s a mess in the way you might remember opening presents on Christmas morning. You’ve just finished tearing everything apart, there’s wrapping paper strung about everywhere, and there’s so much trash to clean up, but look at all the cool shit you got out of it. A great battle system, interesting characters (best if you’ve watched Brotherhood), a great story – once you’ve done a bit of research to fill in the gaps, and an open world unprecedented in a Final Fantasy title.

Sorry, this isn’t a review site, but I felt I had to give my two cents. For as many hours as I’ve already put into the game, I’ve actually kept the drinking rules fairly easy for this title. That’s largely because there are quite a few great recurring elements strung about. I’ll say, this is best for the open world questing. I do have rules set up for story elements, but it’s not quite at the same level, considering most of your time will be spent on your own because the story is on the short side.

Shiva FFXV Gentiana

Did someone say… frozen margaritas?

The Game

Story

Complete a Quest – 5

Complete a Chapter – 10

Ardyn Appears – 5

Luna Appears – 10

Anyone Treats Noct Like a Child – 2*

Obtain New Summon – 10

Someone Dies – Shot*

Battle / General

Run From a Fight – 5*

Opportunity to Summon – 5

Imperials Drop Down – 3

Ariana Joins in Battle – 5

Daemons Appear – 5

Someone Dies in Battle – 5

Ignis Comes Up With a New Recipe! – 5

Realize You Forgot to Rent Chocobos Before Going Out – 10

Hear a New Character Line (“Is Ebony really all that good?”) – 2

Hear an Old Character Line (“This is just like King’s Knight!” for the 1000th time) – 1*

Gentiana / Carbuncle Appears in a Photo – 5

A Photo is Blocked by a Random Bush / Tree – 5

Drink 2 for every minute the car ride is

If you encounter animals crossing the road, drink until they’re finished crossing

Game Over – Shot

*Liver Danger Rules