Downwell Drinking Game

Players: 2

PS4, PS Vita, Mobile, PC


Downwell is a simple and addicting retro-style game available for free on PSN for Playstation Plus subscribers in the month of August (2017)! Basically, you jump down a well and kill things as you advance farther and farther downward. You’ll die. A lot. I crafted the game for two people. There’s not enough content to really go at it by yourself, unless you’re just looking to wreck yourself, but it makes for a great back and forth drinking game.

Downwell screen drinking game

I don’t know who this is. I never made it that far. I’m really bad at the game.

The Rules

The Person Playing…

  • Take 10 if You Die

The Other Person…

  • Takes 5 if You Pass a Stage
  • Takes 10 or a Shot if You Pass an Entire Level

Social x 5…

  • If You Unlock a New Palette or Style
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Magikarp Jump Drinking Game

Players: 1

iOS, Android

Ok, yes, Magikarp Jump is a game designed to keep your children distracted long enough for you to make it through your grocery list incident-free, but don’t pretend like you’re not training your own little pathetic flopper when you have nothing better to do.

This game is best for when you are bored, have no plans, and just really need a reason to drink.


Drinks

  • Magikarp levels up
  • Win a league battle
  • Train your magikarp
  • Special event occurs
  • Use a friendly pokemon’s ability

3 Drinks

  • Retire a magikarp at max level
  • Win a league championship
  • Retry fishing a magikarp
  • Try a risky event option and succeed
    • Such as opening a pokeball, trying to get a berry, telling magikarp to find its own way home, or investigating a mysterious sparkling object in the water.
  • Receive a friend candy for leveling up a training course or food item

Shot

  • Lose a magikarp
  • Forced retirement before max level
  • Food frenzy

Don’t worry, you’ll be drunk as a fish before you have your second league championship.

Esther

When your magikarp dies while giving birth to your children after you’ve turned to the darkside and lost literally everyone else that ever mattered to you.

Evoland Drinking Game

Players: 1

PC, Mobile


Evoland is an interesting Action RPG adventure that evolves as you play it. The game is on the short side, and there are points where you might end up dying constantly with possible rage quit… so it’s a perfect single player drinking game!

evoland bonus heart link zelda

I never found this. And it would have really fucking helped.

I beat the game with only two sessions lasting about five hours total. I hear the second one is longer, but who knows. Some of the same rules might apply? Let me know if you venture there. For now, enjoy the game below!

1 Drink

Obtain a New Mechanic

New Piece of Equipment

Find Item in Furniture

Any Character Gains a Level

Other Game References

Change The Time

For Each Person That Sends You to Another Person in a Quest Line

2 Drinks

Get a Star

Fall

Miss The Enemy in Turn-Based Combat

3 Drinks

Death in Zelda / Diablo Mode

New Graphic Upgrade

5 Drinks

New Battle Mechanics

Name a New Character

Achievement Unlock

Shots & Misc.

Blow Yourself Up (And Die) – Shot

Someone In The Story Dies – Shot

You Lose at “Cards” – Drink Difference in Points x2

evoland final boss drinking

Get ready to die to this guy a few times. He just loves to hug.

Limbo Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PS3, PS4, Wii U, Xbox 360, Mobile, PC


Limbo is one of my favorite Indie Games of all time. It’s creepy as hell, all while delivering a truly interesting puzzle platforming experience. The best part of it, though, is all of the wonderful ways you can die. And you die pretty consistently. You can be dismembered, smashed, drowned – you can see where this is going.

limbo screenshot

Death by zipline is my preference.

So, you can certainly play this game alone, but I’d say it’s definitely better with friends so you can start yelling at each other. I’m actually stealing a bit of the strategy from our Flappy Bird game, but I’m tweaking it to make sense for this one. It has the possibility to get brutal, so I hope you’re ready to forget the rest of your evening (or morning, no judgement).

drunk in the morning

Round two begins in 45, troops.

The Rules

As I mentioned before, you die a lot in Limbo. A stupid amount. Bunches. So…

Take a drink if you die, and pass the controller.*

That’s not so bad, right?

* – If any previous player has already died in this spot, increase death drinks by 1.

Oh.

So, to spell it out a bit, if you die in the same spot as your best friend Larry, you now have to take 2 drinks every time you die. If this happens again, it’s 3 drinks, and so on and so forth. And this applies to everyone’s death drinks. So, even if Tiny Tim is the one that keeps dying in the repeat spots, you still have to up your death drinks.

I like that term. Death drinks. I think I’ll save it for my inevitable Dark Souls game. Tiny Tim will probably screw you over in that one, too. Fuck Tiny Tim.

drunk tiny tim

More whiskey, Scrooge.

I’m really interested to see if anyone finishes the game by these rules. It’s not impossible, but you’ll probably have to have played it a few times before and generally just be good at it.

So, if you do happen to be playing with an asshole that is really good at the game, here are a few additional rules to help keep some of the beer flowing:

Drink for…

  • Spider / monster appearance
  • Another human on screen, dead / alive
  • Something startles you
  • Something alters your character’s abilities / movement
  • A shot for a sighting of your sister

Extreme Mode

Up the death drinks for every time anyone dies.

Have fun. Don’t die yourself.

Flappy Bird Drinking Game

Players: 2-??

Mobile


If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve hit a low point in your life. I know I have for writing it. We’re gonna make this real short and simple, because there’s like 1 aspect to the whole game. And, obviously, this applies to pretty much any rip off of the game because the original is no longer in existence on the App store.

flappy bird screens

The Game

So, this is going to be simple. You are going to pass the game around, each person taking a turn. If you’re the first person, pass out a drink for each point you acquired during your turn. From there on out, you will either give or take the difference of the current high score.

  • If you are 5 points behind the current score when you die, take 5.
  • If you are 5 over and obtain the new high score, give out 5.

You can see how this will get pretty ugly the higher the score gets, as you will surely screw up very early on at least a couple of times while the score is rocking above the 50 mark – or however good your group of friends happen to be at this shitty game.

-Alternative Drink Option-

If your prescribed drinks hit the 20+ mark, you can trade in the full amount for one shot.


Now go get on with your life and try to make better decisions.

Pokémon GO Drinking Game

Players: 2-21,000,000+

Mobile


By now, if you’re not playing Pokémon GO, you’re likely the only one of your friends not out hunting small creatures on your phone. Niantic has provided this generation with what we’ve wanted since we were in elementary school: The chance to be the very best, like no one ever was…to Catch ‘Em All… to actually be a Pokémon trainer. It’s a great reason to take a walk, but it can also be a great drinking game when you’re staying in.

  • I’m bolding staying in because the last thing this game needs, or we are promoting, is some drunk idiot walking into someone else’s home or the street because of this drinking game. BE RESPONSIBLE. THIS IS A DISCLAIMER.
  • Thanks

The Rules

Everyone playing will have their phones open to PoGO for the duration of the game, so it’s good to play during another activity that doesn’t require the use of your phone. Some great options are another drinking game (like Circle of Death), watching a show/movie, or playing a console game like Final Fantasy XV.

You Spot a Pokémon

As part of the game, you MUST attempt to capture every Pokémon that you have the opportunity to. When you attempt to capture the Pokémon, you take 1 drink for each time the Pokémon breaks out of the ball, and 2 drinks for each time you miss the Pokémon completely. Check your aim!

You Catch a Pokémon

Give drinks according to the rarity of what you caught. Use this list from Eurogamer.net as a reference guide – it’s currently the best I can find including the newly added second generation. If a second or third evolution appears, take the given drinks times 2 or 3, respectively.

Everywhere – 1 drink
Common – 3 drinks
Uncommon – 5 drinks
Rare – 7 drinks
Very Rare – 10 drinks
Epic (Very Rare Section 2) – 1 shot
Special/Region Exclusive – Finish current drink
Not Currently Available – Drink everything else in the house. Everything. Even the mustard.

Congratulations, you’ve got a new Poké AND one of your opponents is drinking to your victory.

Optional: All given drinks must go to someone on the opposing team. Valor shall not give to Valor, etc.

The Pokémon Escapes

Take a shot! This isn’t amateur hour; if you have trouble with aim and successful captures, you’re going to be drunk… soon.

drunk oddish

 

Extreme Mode

You Evolve a Pokémon During Game Play

Give a shot! Have a bunch of Weedles saved up to evolve with a lucky egg? This may be a great time to use it.

Pokemon GO Evolution

Using a Lure

If you’re lucky enough to be able to play at/next to a PokéStop, then using a Lure will absolutely intensify the game. Everyone take a drink (or a shot) to celebrate the placement of the Lure!

Pokemon GO Incense Lure


Leave us your best catches while playing the game in the comments below. Or just report to us how many Pokeballs you wasted on this stupid drinking game and how many Rattatas you managed to let escape.