Stardew Valley Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PC

MINOR SPOILERS IN THE SCREENSHOTS


Co-op beta has begun, and you know we’re playing it. I thought long and hard (not really) about how to get as drunk as Shane playing Stardew Valley together or solo. The stories in this game are so well written and engaging, it seems shameful to potentially forget them in an inebriated state… but that’s what we’re here to do. At least some of our neighbors would probably approve (I’m looking at you, Pam and Shane.)

Have a cold one with Shane

Me every night after work.

The Rules

Drink 1:

At the start of each sunny day

When you sell items to a shop (1 per item stack)

When you harvest, collect, fish or forage a purple star quality item

When you mine any of the following: Iridium (1 per drop), Diamond, any Geode

When you acquire a new friendship heart with someone

When you find something other than trash in a trash can

When you buy a ticket to go to The Desert

When you give someone a gift on their birthday

When you donate an item to the museum

When a neighbor sends you an item or recipe in the mail

When you complete a daily quest

Multiple Drinks:

2 drinks – At the start of each rainy day

3 drinks – When you enter a cutscene

3 drinks – When you complete a long-term quest

1 drink per $1000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day up to $9,000
1 shot per $10,000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day

3 drinks – When you drink an alcoholic beverage in game (drinks in cutscenes included)

3 drinks – When a train passes through Stardew Valley

3 drinks – When you give someone a gift they hate

5 drinks or a shot – When you attend a seasonal/holiday event

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet

When you give a mermaid pendant

When “an explosion is heard during the night”

When you pass out from exhaustion (whether from low energy or from being awake too late)

When you access a new area of the game for the first time

When someone catches you looking in a trash can

I just want everyone to have a good time

Me too, Emily, but my idea was to get everybody hammered.

 

Additional Rules for Co-op:

Drink 1:

When you walk through each other

When you both/all work on the same tile (mining, farming, fishing, etc)

When you gain a new heart with a player character

Drink 3:

When you get pulled into someone else’s cutscene from afar

When you sleep in the same bed

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet to a player character, or when you receive one

Take 2 Shots:

When you marry another player character. Cheers, losers.

Be more social

 

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Doom Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS4, Xbox One, PC


Alright, so, I’ll be upfront about this one. I didn’t play this a whole lot. It’s not really my kind of FPS, but it was fun while I had my time with it. The online multiplayer was promising, but it didn’t feel tight enough for me to commit to the game (I played during a free-to-play weekend). The campaign was interesting, though, which is what I decided to set up some basic rules for. I’d call this a completionist’s drinking game, if I were to put a label on it. It’s short and simple, like our “About” section advertises, and we only sometimes stick to…

Doom Drinking Game

Obviously my opinion isn’t the majority opinion. Sue me.

The Rules

Doomguy Hits / Destroys Something Just Because – 5

New Weapon – 5

Obtain a Weapon Upgrade – 5

Find a ‘Secret’ – 3

Health / Armor / Ammo Upgrade – 5

Encounter a New Monster (The Menu Log Will Tell You) – 5

Reach a Checkpoint – 3

“Impact Compensation” – 3

Forget You’re Always Running and hit L3 (Or Whatever the Normal Run Button is) to Sprint – 3

A Corpse Reanimates on You – 3

You Perform a Gory Kill – 1

You Die – Shot

Samuel Contacts You – 5

Miss a Mission Challenge – 5 Per Challenge Missed

Drink 2 for Every “Exploration” Item Missed in the Mission Summary

Doomguy super smash bros crossover

I would so be down for this. Especially if he could blow Meta Knight in half.

Downwell Drinking Game

Players: 2

PS4, PS Vita, Mobile, PC


Downwell is a simple and addicting retro-style game available for free on PSN for Playstation Plus subscribers in the month of August (2017)! Basically, you jump down a well and kill things as you advance farther and farther downward. You’ll die. A lot. I crafted the game for two people. There’s not enough content to really go at it by yourself, unless you’re just looking to wreck yourself, but it makes for a great back and forth drinking game.

Downwell screen drinking game

I don’t know who this is. I never made it that far. I’m really bad at the game.

The Rules

The Person Playing…

  • Take 10 if You Die

The Other Person…

  • Takes 5 if You Pass a Stage
  • Takes 10 or a Shot if You Pass an Entire Level

Social x 5…

  • If You Unlock a New Palette or Style

Diablo III Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PS3, PS4, PC, 360, Xbox One


So, this is a very basic drinking game, but it’s also very close to my heart…

A bunch of us used to live together in a three-story home that we rented in a not-so-wonderful area of St. Louis (it helped bring us all closer together…sorta). We all worked for the same company, and they didn’t have hours on Sundays. This meant that every Saturday night and all of Sunday we’d basically be partying. This is where Diablo came into play, and, well, we were fans of the infamous Fireball, due to its inexpensiveness. Plus, for a shot choice, it went down easy. And that was vital to how we played Diablo.

To add further context, we were also on a Sunday Funday volleyball league. We were awful, and what contributed to that was the amount of Fireball we’d drink because of this game before heading off to our match.

1526643_3031369265424_8897248491827978583_n

Actual photo of us drunk at our volleyball game.

So, with way too much story now and not enough drinking, here is the game…

The Equipment Drop Shot

Whatever the rarest weapon type/color that drops for the area you’re in drops, everyone takes a shot.

“Wait, we just had three orange drop off of that boss, so just on…” No, take three shots.

I recommend a shot that you don’t mind having a lot of. Due to the rarity of such drops (sometimes), it really needs to be a shot of something. And it makes things much more exciting when it happens.

Diablo Rare Drop Drinking Game

Well, fuck.

Evoland Drinking Game

Players: 1

PC, Mobile


Evoland is an interesting Action RPG adventure that evolves as you play it. The game is on the short side, and there are points where you might end up dying constantly with possible rage quit… so it’s a perfect single player drinking game!

evoland bonus heart link zelda

I never found this. And it would have really fucking helped.

I beat the game with only two sessions lasting about five hours total. I hear the second one is longer, but who knows. Some of the same rules might apply? Let me know if you venture there. For now, enjoy the game below!

1 Drink

Obtain a New Mechanic

New Piece of Equipment

Find Item in Furniture

Any Character Gains a Level

Other Game References

Change The Time

For Each Person That Sends You to Another Person in a Quest Line

2 Drinks

Get a Star

Fall

Miss The Enemy in Turn-Based Combat

3 Drinks

Death in Zelda / Diablo Mode

New Graphic Upgrade

5 Drinks

New Battle Mechanics

Name a New Character

Achievement Unlock

Shots & Misc.

Blow Yourself Up (And Die) – Shot

Someone In The Story Dies – Shot

You Lose at “Cards” – Drink Difference in Points x2

evoland final boss drinking

Get ready to die to this guy a few times. He just loves to hug.

Crusader Kings 2 Drinking Game

Players: 1-16

PC


Crusader Kings II is a game of intrigue, espionage, politics, and of course, death. In a world where everyone is plotting or resting in a plot, what doesn’t kill you will probably kill you later.

murderplot

Drinking and plotting to kill each other is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon with your closest friends. Being such a complex game, feel free to add or alter any drinking occasions as you see fit.

Happy New Year!

Celebrate each passing year with a quick social drink. This will get more useful the drunker you get, because it will remind you how quickly time is passing.

You Arrange a Marriage!

Both people are outside your nuclear family:

Congratulations to the happy (or whatever) newly weds! Take a drink.

Marrying off your child:

Congratulations, Pops/Mama! Take a drink if they married above their status; Two drinks if they married their equal; and take a shot if you married your child to someone unworthy, you piece of shit.

Marrying yourself:

Good job! Take a drink for every living member of your nuclear family (Parents, siblings, children) because they’re toasting you at your wedding. All other players should also take a drink with you.

You Get Sick or Injured!

Each time you choose (or are forced into) any type of treatment, take a drink. Alcohol is great medicine.

You Succeed in a Plot to Have Someone Killed!

Woohoo! That bastard probably had it coming. Take a drink and hope that your beverage hasn’t been laced with revenge.

Was it one of your superiors?

Give out a shot just to remind everyone what a badass you are. (take a shot instead if you’re playing solo, or you’re trying to keep your murder secret)

You Die!

Take a shot and hope that your heir isn’t a fault-ridden adolescent.

Were you murdered?

Take an extra shot and be more careful next time.

Did you plot your own murder?

Wow. Everyone else takes a shot.

You Acquire New Land!

Give or take a drink for each new territory, and a drink for each new vassal.

You Go to War!

Take a drink with your foe.

Did you start the war?

Give an extra 2 drinks to the player of your choice.

Surrendered?

Take a shot, you coward.

Victorious?

Give 3 drinks to anyone, and tell them to acknowledge your greatness.

You Lost the Game!

Your lineage has met its end. Have you left a meaningful mark on the world’s history? Probably not. Better take a shot and start over.

Skyrim Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, 360, PC


Skyrim has been out for ages now, and, having just jumped back into it, it’s as addicting as ever. I decided to write up a drinking game for it simply because I wanted to revisit the gorgeous countryside and reanimating dead corpses, but I wasn’t sure it was going to be the best material to drink to. I was wrong. There are a few recurring elements that walk the edge of comical at how often they pop up, usually within succession. It’s a bit of a shorter list than usual, but it works. Let’s get into it.

skyrim artowrk

You know how Tyler Durden “re-imagines” himself as Brad Pitt? That’s this guy for me.

Story Drinks

Any form of the word “Dragon” is mentioned – be prepared.

Skyrim is mentioned.

Someone comments on your race, gender, appearance.

Someone asks if you’re sick.

Any of the recruiting groups are mentioned – Legion, Stormcloaks, Thieves Guild, etc.

Slagathor in Skyrim - Character Creator

Slagathor is harassed pretty consistently in Skyrim.

Mechanical Drinks

You level up – drink the number of your new level.

Any skill goes up.

Fail a lockpick attempt – drink for each broken pin.

Fail a conversation attempt – persuade, intimidate, etc.

You find some kind of alcohol in a chest / container. Drink for each one.

Drink 5 for death – make it a shot if it’s from a trap.

Take a shot if you let your horse die because shame on you.

Dead horse Skyrim

You fucking fucks.

All I can say is a few conversations with the Jarl and the Greybeards about dragons and dragonborn, and you’re gonna forget you already accidentally killed your horse three goddamn times.

Dragon Age: Origins Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, 360, PC


Dragon Age is probably my favorite of Bioware’s game series. I might be a bigger advocate of Mass Effect, but I tend to lean towards fantasy over sci-fi as a general theme. That’s not really important here, though. You’re here because you want to get drunk. Or you’re lost. Either way, you might as well finish reading this article.

Dragon Age Origins Inventory Screen

That’s right. Slagathor continues in Ferelden.

This is a single player drinking game, but you’re always free to let friends join you with the same or modified rules. Every drink cue will be worth one drink unless otherwise specified. I’ll break them up into categories to make them a bit easier to reference for you. You’re fucking welcome.

Story

Grey Wardens are Mentioned

The Maker is Mentioned

The Blight is Mentioned

Racism is Apparent 

Someone Curses

Loghain is On Screen (stops applying if you recruit him.. unless you hate yourself)

Someone Takes a Drink

Sandal says “Enchantment”

Someone Thanks The Maker When They Clearly Should be Thanking You

Party Member Disapproves – Drink For Each Point

Make the Decision to Kill Someone – Shot


Party Members

Alistair is Sarcastic

Morrigan is Heartless

Sten Gives One Word Answer

Leliana is Over Considerate

Wynne is Concerned About The Maker

Oghren is Bitter

Shale is Condescending

Loghain… I Don’t Know; I Never Let Him Live


Mechanical

A Dialogue Option Appears With Drinking

Your Character Does a Special Finishing Move (Best Played With Melee Character)

Level Up on any Character

Accidentally Pull Out Weapon

Game Appears to Freeze

Party Member Falls in Battle

Accidentally Speak to Party Member When Trying to Click an Item

Game Over – Shot

dragon age dragon kill

If you get a sweet Dragon kill like this, everyone else finishes their drinks. If you don’t have friends, you finish your drink.

Limbo Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PS3, PS4, Wii U, Xbox 360, Mobile, PC


Limbo is one of my favorite Indie Games of all time. It’s creepy as hell, all while delivering a truly interesting puzzle platforming experience. The best part of it, though, is all of the wonderful ways you can die. And you die pretty consistently. You can be dismembered, smashed, drowned – you can see where this is going.

limbo screenshot

Death by zipline is my preference.

So, you can certainly play this game alone, but I’d say it’s definitely better with friends so you can start yelling at each other. I’m actually stealing a bit of the strategy from our Flappy Bird game, but I’m tweaking it to make sense for this one. It has the possibility to get brutal, so I hope you’re ready to forget the rest of your evening (or morning, no judgement).

drunk in the morning

Round two begins in 45, troops.

The Rules

As I mentioned before, you die a lot in Limbo. A stupid amount. Bunches. So…

Take a drink if you die, and pass the controller.*

That’s not so bad, right?

* – If any previous player has already died in this spot, increase death drinks by 1.

Oh.

So, to spell it out a bit, if you die in the same spot as your best friend Larry, you now have to take 2 drinks every time you die. If this happens again, it’s 3 drinks, and so on and so forth. And this applies to everyone’s death drinks. So, even if Tiny Tim is the one that keeps dying in the repeat spots, you still have to up your death drinks.

I like that term. Death drinks. I think I’ll save it for my inevitable Dark Souls game. Tiny Tim will probably screw you over in that one, too. Fuck Tiny Tim.

drunk tiny tim

More whiskey, Scrooge.

I’m really interested to see if anyone finishes the game by these rules. It’s not impossible, but you’ll probably have to have played it a few times before and generally just be good at it.

So, if you do happen to be playing with an asshole that is really good at the game, here are a few additional rules to help keep some of the beer flowing:

Drink for…

  • Spider / monster appearance
  • Another human on screen, dead / alive
  • Something startles you
  • Something alters your character’s abilities / movement
  • A shot for a sighting of your sister

Extreme Mode

Up the death drinks for every time anyone dies.

Have fun. Don’t die yourself.

Final Fantasy Tactics Drinking Game

Players: 1-??

PSX, PS3, PS4, PSP, PC, GBA


Final Fantasy Tactics is a game jam-packed with nostalgia. Its advanced job system laid the groundwork for tactical RPGs everywhere. It’s highly addictive, and it is at the same time quite rage-inducing. I have become quite a fan of the tactical RPG for drinking games, and for this one I’ll be taking a few lines from our XCOM drinking game (which is great, btw).

final fantasy tactics art

You’re all going to die.

Due to the recurring story elements and style of fighting, this game also makes a decent single player game with some altered rules. We’ll start with the multiplayer section first, though.

Battle – Multiplayer

The customization options aren’t quite as intricate in FFT as they are in XCOM, so you’ll basically just want to pick characters to assign to each person at random for this game. The character(s) chosen will represent you in the game for all drinking purposes. Try to keep the same amount of characters for everyone. If you have one odd out, make it a “social” character, and everyone drinks.

Your character hits an enemy – Give a drink

  • Double if hitting with counter

Your character is hit – Take a drink

  • Double if hit by counter

Go a round with no damage either way – Social

Your character dies – Take 3 Drinks

Your character levels up (job levels included) – Give

You generate friendly fire – The person controlling and the person’s character hit both take 2 drinks

End round with nobody currently dead – Controller gives out 5 drinks for every person playing (these can be combined to give to just one person, if desired)

Player fails mission or loses – They finish their drink

For every chocobo in fight at beginning of battle – Drink 1

final fantasy tactics jobs

I think I have multiple personality disorder.

Battle – Single Player

Take a drink when any of the following happen:

  • Countered
  • Opposing Team Levels Up
  • Opposing Team Heals
  • Push the Wrong Button on Controller
  • Dialogue Happens Mid-Fight
  • Move to the Wrong Spot
  • You are Knocked Back
  • Hit by Summon – One for Each Person Hit
  • Death – Take 3
  • Fail Mission – Finish Drink

Extreme Mode

Take a shot if a guest character gets themselves killed in battle.

final fantasy tactics drinking game

The very start of this game and I already have people hounding me.

Story

These are good for both single player and multiplayer games!

Take a drink when…

  • Slagathor’s – or whatever terrible name you decide on for your character – name is said
  • Delita is mentioned
  • God is brought up
  • Chocobo appears
  • Opaque flashback sequence
  • Have unfortunate feelings toward a main character (Algus, a Beoulve brother, etc.)
  • Member of Beoulve or Heiral (Delita’s) family dies – Take 5

I’m sure there are other recurring items that would be a great addition to this list, but it has been a while since I’ve made it super far into the game, and it’s hard and things. Feel free to add your own to the comments, and I’ll be happy to add them to the official list if I decide I like it.