Stardew Valley Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PC

MINOR SPOILERS IN THE SCREENSHOTS


Co-op beta has begun, and you know we’re playing it. I thought long and hard (not really) about how to get as drunk as Shane playing Stardew Valley together or solo. The stories in this game are so well written and engaging, it seems shameful to potentially forget them in an inebriated state… but that’s what we’re here to do. At least some of our neighbors would probably approve (I’m looking at you, Pam and Shane.)

Have a cold one with Shane

Me every night after work.

The Rules

Drink 1:

At the start of each sunny day

When you sell items to a shop (1 per item stack)

When you harvest, collect, fish or forage a purple star quality item

When you mine any of the following: Iridium (1 per drop), Diamond, any Geode

When you acquire a new friendship heart with someone

When you find something other than trash in a trash can

When you buy a ticket to go to The Desert

When you give someone a gift on their birthday

When you donate an item to the museum

When a neighbor sends you an item or recipe in the mail

When you complete a daily quest

Multiple Drinks:

2 drinks – At the start of each rainy day

3 drinks – When you enter a cutscene

3 drinks – When you complete a long-term quest

1 drink per $1000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day up to $9,000
1 shot per $10,000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day

3 drinks – When you drink an alcoholic beverage in game (drinks in cutscenes included)

3 drinks – When a train passes through Stardew Valley

3 drinks – When you give someone a gift they hate

5 drinks or a shot – When you attend a seasonal/holiday event

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet

When you give a mermaid pendant

When “an explosion is heard during the night”

When you pass out from exhaustion (whether from low energy or from being awake too late)

When you access a new area of the game for the first time

When someone catches you looking in a trash can

I just want everyone to have a good time

Me too, Emily, but my idea was to get everybody hammered.

 

Additional Rules for Co-op:

Drink 1:

When you walk through each other

When you both/all work on the same tile (mining, farming, fishing, etc)

When you gain a new heart with a player character

Drink 3:

When you get pulled into someone else’s cutscene from afar

When you sleep in the same bed

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet to a player character, or when you receive one

Take 2 Shots:

When you marry another player character. Cheers, losers.

Be more social

 

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Evoland Drinking Game

Players: 1

PC, Mobile


Evoland is an interesting Action RPG adventure that evolves as you play it. The game is on the short side, and there are points where you might end up dying constantly with possible rage quit… so it’s a perfect single player drinking game!

evoland bonus heart link zelda

I never found this. And it would have really fucking helped.

I beat the game with only two sessions lasting about five hours total. I hear the second one is longer, but who knows. Some of the same rules might apply? Let me know if you venture there. For now, enjoy the game below!

1 Drink

Obtain a New Mechanic

New Piece of Equipment

Find Item in Furniture

Any Character Gains a Level

Other Game References

Change The Time

For Each Person That Sends You to Another Person in a Quest Line

2 Drinks

Get a Star

Fall

Miss The Enemy in Turn-Based Combat

3 Drinks

Death in Zelda / Diablo Mode

New Graphic Upgrade

5 Drinks

New Battle Mechanics

Name a New Character

Achievement Unlock

Shots & Misc.

Blow Yourself Up (And Die) – Shot

Someone In The Story Dies – Shot

You Lose at “Cards” – Drink Difference in Points x2

evoland final boss drinking

Get ready to die to this guy a few times. He just loves to hug.

Final Fantasy XV Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS4, Xbox One


I waited 10 fucking years for this game. Announced way back in 2006, the title was supposed to launch alongside Final Fantasy XIII as Final Fantasy Versus XIII, and everyone wanted it so bad. Like, boycotting Square Enix and not supporting them until it released bad. That’s mainly because FFXIII was such a letdown with too much linearity and an uninteresting story, though I do enjoy the battle system once you get closer to the end of the game. Anyways, if you’re playing FFXV now then you probably know all of that. You’re welcome for my useless rambling.

Moving on. I love the game. It might have some flawed areas, and it’s a bit of a mess. But it’s a mess in the way you might remember opening presents on Christmas morning. You’ve just finished tearing everything apart, there’s wrapping paper strung about everywhere, and there’s so much trash to clean up, but look at all the cool shit you got out of it. A great battle system, interesting characters (best if you’ve watched Brotherhood), a great story – once you’ve done a bit of research to fill in the gaps, and an open world unprecedented in a Final Fantasy title.

Sorry, this isn’t a review site, but I felt I had to give my two cents. For as many hours as I’ve already put into the game, I’ve actually kept the drinking rules fairly easy for this title. That’s largely because there are quite a few great recurring elements strung about. I’ll say, this is best for the open world questing. I do have rules set up for story elements, but it’s not quite at the same level, considering most of your time will be spent on your own because the story is on the short side.

Shiva FFXV Gentiana

Did someone say… frozen margaritas?

The Game

Story

Complete a Quest – 5

Complete a Chapter – 10

Ardyn Appears – 5

Luna Appears – 10

Anyone Treats Noct Like a Child – 2*

Obtain New Summon – 10

Someone Dies – Shot*

Battle / General

Run From a Fight – 5*

Opportunity to Summon – 5

Imperials Drop Down – 3

Ariana Joins in Battle – 5

Daemons Appear – 5

Someone Dies in Battle – 5

Ignis Comes Up With a New Recipe! – 5

Realize You Forgot to Rent Chocobos Before Going Out – 10

Hear a New Character Line (“Is Ebony really all that good?”) – 2

Hear an Old Character Line (“This is just like King’s Knight!” for the 1000th time) – 1*

Gentiana / Carbuncle Appears in a Photo – 5

A Photo is Blocked by a Random Bush / Tree – 5

Drink 2 for every minute the car ride is

If you encounter animals crossing the road, drink until they’re finished crossing

Game Over – Shot

*Liver Danger Rules

Skyrim Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, 360, PC


Skyrim has been out for ages now, and, having just jumped back into it, it’s as addicting as ever. I decided to write up a drinking game for it simply because I wanted to revisit the gorgeous countryside and reanimating dead corpses, but I wasn’t sure it was going to be the best material to drink to. I was wrong. There are a few recurring elements that walk the edge of comical at how often they pop up, usually within succession. It’s a bit of a shorter list than usual, but it works. Let’s get into it.

skyrim artowrk

You know how Tyler Durden “re-imagines” himself as Brad Pitt? That’s this guy for me.

Story Drinks

Any form of the word “Dragon” is mentioned – be prepared.

Skyrim is mentioned.

Someone comments on your race, gender, appearance.

Someone asks if you’re sick.

Any of the recruiting groups are mentioned – Legion, Stormcloaks, Thieves Guild, etc.

Slagathor in Skyrim - Character Creator

Slagathor is harassed pretty consistently in Skyrim.

Mechanical Drinks

You level up – drink the number of your new level.

Any skill goes up.

Fail a lockpick attempt – drink for each broken pin.

Fail a conversation attempt – persuade, intimidate, etc.

You find some kind of alcohol in a chest / container. Drink for each one.

Drink 5 for death – make it a shot if it’s from a trap.

Take a shot if you let your horse die because shame on you.

Dead horse Skyrim

You fucking fucks.

All I can say is a few conversations with the Jarl and the Greybeards about dragons and dragonborn, and you’re gonna forget you already accidentally killed your horse three goddamn times.

Dragon Age: Origins Drinking Game

Players: 1

PS3, 360, PC


Dragon Age is probably my favorite of Bioware’s game series. I might be a bigger advocate of Mass Effect, but I tend to lean towards fantasy over sci-fi as a general theme. That’s not really important here, though. You’re here because you want to get drunk. Or you’re lost. Either way, you might as well finish reading this article.

Dragon Age Origins Inventory Screen

That’s right. Slagathor continues in Ferelden.

This is a single player drinking game, but you’re always free to let friends join you with the same or modified rules. Every drink cue will be worth one drink unless otherwise specified. I’ll break them up into categories to make them a bit easier to reference for you. You’re fucking welcome.

Story

Grey Wardens are Mentioned

The Maker is Mentioned

The Blight is Mentioned

Racism is Apparent 

Someone Curses

Loghain is On Screen (stops applying if you recruit him.. unless you hate yourself)

Someone Takes a Drink

Sandal says “Enchantment”

Someone Thanks The Maker When They Clearly Should be Thanking You

Party Member Disapproves – Drink For Each Point

Make the Decision to Kill Someone – Shot


Party Members

Alistair is Sarcastic

Morrigan is Heartless

Sten Gives One Word Answer

Leliana is Over Considerate

Wynne is Concerned About The Maker

Oghren is Bitter

Shale is Condescending

Loghain… I Don’t Know; I Never Let Him Live


Mechanical

A Dialogue Option Appears With Drinking

Your Character Does a Special Finishing Move (Best Played With Melee Character)

Level Up on any Character

Accidentally Pull Out Weapon

Game Appears to Freeze

Party Member Falls in Battle

Accidentally Speak to Party Member When Trying to Click an Item

Game Over – Shot

dragon age dragon kill

If you get a sweet Dragon kill like this, everyone else finishes their drinks. If you don’t have friends, you finish your drink.

Titan Quest Drinking Game

Players: 1-6

PC, Mobile


Titan Quest is an older action RPG on the PC. In fact, it’s been 10 years since its initial release, but the developers have come back to this one and done some remodeling. So this is to celebrate that. Resembling Diablo in many ways, the game mostly revolves around creating a killing machine to sweep through the game. Given that, the drinking game will mainly revolve around killing, quests, and items. It’s a simple but effective game.

I haven’t played the most up to date version of the game, but the rules should be similar. Multiplayer mode can also focus more on kills and item drops to make communication easier. It also helps match the pace a bit better that way.

titan quest gameplay

I didn’t realize this was going to be a nudist party.

Accept a Quest – Drink 2

Quest Updates – Drink 1

Complete Quest – Drink 5

Beat a Regular Boss – Drink 5

Beat a Titan – Drink 10

Level Up – Drink 5

Notified You’re Out of Room – Drink 2

Legendary/Epic Item Drops (whichever is respectively the “rare” type at your level of progression) – Shot

Death – Shot

titan quest inventory screen

This seems like the ideal time to check my inventory.

This game is best played with quick shot items. We use the same strategy for Diablo III by using Fireball, and it’s great to do right before going to your weekly volleyball game. Get wrecked.