Stardew Valley Drinking Game

Players: 1-4

PC

MINOR SPOILERS IN THE SCREENSHOTS


Co-op beta has begun, and you know we’re playing it. I thought long and hard (not really) about how to get as drunk as Shane playing Stardew Valley together or solo. The stories in this game are so well written and engaging, it seems shameful to potentially forget them in an inebriated state… but that’s what we’re here to do. At least some of our neighbors would probably approve (I’m looking at you, Pam and Shane.)

Have a cold one with Shane

Me every night after work.

The Rules

Drink 1:

At the start of each sunny day

When you sell items to a shop (1 per item stack)

When you harvest, collect, fish or forage a purple star quality item

When you mine any of the following: Iridium (1 per drop), Diamond, any Geode

When you acquire a new friendship heart with someone

When you find something other than trash in a trash can

When you buy a ticket to go to The Desert

When you give someone a gift on their birthday

When you donate an item to the museum

When a neighbor sends you an item or recipe in the mail

When you complete a daily quest

Multiple Drinks:

2 drinks – At the start of each rainy day

3 drinks – When you enter a cutscene

3 drinks – When you complete a long-term quest

1 drink per $1000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day up to $9,000
1 shot per $10,000 that you make from shipping items at the end of the day

3 drinks – When you drink an alcoholic beverage in game (drinks in cutscenes included)

3 drinks – When a train passes through Stardew Valley

3 drinks – When you give someone a gift they hate

5 drinks or a shot – When you attend a seasonal/holiday event

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet

When you give a mermaid pendant

When “an explosion is heard during the night”

When you pass out from exhaustion (whether from low energy or from being awake too late)

When you access a new area of the game for the first time

When someone catches you looking in a trash can

I just want everyone to have a good time

Me too, Emily, but my idea was to get everybody hammered.

 

Additional Rules for Co-op:

Drink 1:

When you walk through each other

When you both/all work on the same tile (mining, farming, fishing, etc)

When you gain a new heart with a player character

Drink 3:

When you get pulled into someone else’s cutscene from afar

When you sleep in the same bed

Take a Shot:

When you give a bouquet to a player character, or when you receive one

Take 2 Shots:

When you marry another player character. Cheers, losers.

Be more social

 

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Fortnite Drinking Game

Players: 1-99

PS4, Xbox One, iOS, PC 


In honor of our return to the business of pretending-to-have-a-productive-reason-for-drinking, we’re throwing a couple of big title games your way. There’s nothing much bigger than Fortnite right now, which I do quite enjoy, but I’m surprised it’s still going. And the other big title for the month is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, so make sure to check that out!

Fortnite Battle Royale Glider Girl

Me gliding away from all of my problems to my living room couch to play more Fortnite.

To clarify, we’re only doing a game for the Battle Royale mode. I’m sure that doesn’t really surprise anyone, but I wanted to clarify. I’ve never paid money for the actual game… or know anyone that has. Anyway, to the goods!

I have a special Death Game to provide the basis for the drinking involved, and then I also have standard rules set up for specific events.


The Death Game

The rules for this are simple:

  • For every 5 people remaining when you die, you drink 1.
    • This is a potential 20 drink hit if you die immediately.

There’s a catch, though.

  • Once you are under 50 remaining players, this number actually now applies to your friends watching or playing alongside you, but in the opposite direction.

So, if you survive to the 30th spot, your friends drink the equivalent of placement 70, which is 14 drinks, thus your incentive for survival is extra high in this game. All other players required to take a shot if you win (does not apply to fellow teammates that survived the round).

I know you guys are thrilled to try it out.

Fornite unicorn harvest tool rainbow

It truly is a strange, magical place.

The Basics

  • Jumping from the Plane – Social
  • Ammo Box – 2
  • Chest – 3
  • Gnome – 5
  • Orange/Legendary Weapon Found – 10
  • Llama – 15
  • Kill Someone – Everyone Else Drinks 5
  • Finish a Season Goal – Amount of Stars You Earn
  • Someone Dances on you after you Die – *Extra Death Shot*

Evoland Drinking Game

Players: 1

PC, Mobile


Evoland is an interesting Action RPG adventure that evolves as you play it. The game is on the short side, and there are points where you might end up dying constantly with possible rage quit… so it’s a perfect single player drinking game!

evoland bonus heart link zelda

I never found this. And it would have really fucking helped.

I beat the game with only two sessions lasting about five hours total. I hear the second one is longer, but who knows. Some of the same rules might apply? Let me know if you venture there. For now, enjoy the game below!

1 Drink

Obtain a New Mechanic

New Piece of Equipment

Find Item in Furniture

Any Character Gains a Level

Other Game References

Change The Time

For Each Person That Sends You to Another Person in a Quest Line

2 Drinks

Get a Star

Fall

Miss The Enemy in Turn-Based Combat

3 Drinks

Death in Zelda / Diablo Mode

New Graphic Upgrade

5 Drinks

New Battle Mechanics

Name a New Character

Achievement Unlock

Shots & Misc.

Blow Yourself Up (And Die) – Shot

Someone In The Story Dies – Shot

You Lose at “Cards” – Drink Difference in Points x2

evoland final boss drinking

Get ready to die to this guy a few times. He just loves to hug.